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It’s Time to Stop Faking It

January 29, 2024
"Faking it till you make it" is a popular phrase for pretending until success. Jess challenges this with personal anecdotes.
It’s Time to Stop Faking It
January 29, 2024
"Faking it till you make it" is a popular phrase for pretending until success. Jess challenges this with personal anecdotes.

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Today’s Monday Motivation: “Faking it” shouldn’t lead to “Making it.”

When Jess began her career, she wanted everyone to believe she had it all figured out and thought the best way to prove that was through appearance and speech.

She would wear blazers and shoes that just weren’t her style, try to emulate other leaders that she admired, and use words that weren’t in her daily vocabulary.

But she realized quickly that faking it wasn’t serving her at all. It wasn’t until a “speaking gig” where she spoke honestly to the attendees that she found her voice.

SHOW NOTES

Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

Jess Ekstrom – 00:00:02:

Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their head and into their zone of influence. Happy Monday, everyone. Here’s some food for thought to start your week. When I was just starting my career, I thought that in order to be trusted and successful, I had to appear tall. And I don’t mean tall, like physically tall. I mean tall, like all-knowing, expert tall. I wanted to be someone… That when someone met me, they’d be like, oh, she’s got it all figured out. I would wear… Blazers and shoes that just weren’t me and didn’t feel comfortable. I’d try to emulate other leaders that I admired. I’d use words that weren’t in my daily vocabulary and any chance I had to tell someone that I was qualified to be there, I took it. So I was trying to get this public speaking career off the ground. And I spent my time trying to share why I was qualified. And even on stage, I felt like I was still trying to prove to people that I should be there. And things weren’t really taking off. You know, things were slow. I was sending a lot of outreach, not getting a lot back. And then one day I had a speaking opportunity. I hesitate even calling it a speaking opportunity. It was for an old professor of mine at the university that I went to. And I was speaking to his class for free. And it was like one of those days where it was just your stereotypical bad day. Like it was raining, forgotten umbrella. I got a parking ticket. That morning I was just so done. And I showed up at that class. The professor wasn’t even there. He was like, just talk to them. And it was like 12 people in the class. I was like, oh my gosh. And instead of like putting on this regular talk show personality and talking about how qualified I was, I just told the real honest truth about the mistakes I’ve made, things I’ve done wrong, what I learned from it, what I would do differently and what they could start doing. And I will tell you that that was the speech that I felt like made me a speaker, even though there was like… 12 people in there. They all wanted to stay after and talk. They all had questions. And I had never had that kind of response or experience before as a speaker because I wasn’t taking advantage of the time that I had to teach. I was taking advantage of the time that I had to show that I should be there. And so I decided that if I wanted to be successful, I had to take the stilts off. And I don’t know if you ever feel like that. Like, do you ever feel like you’re walking on stilts? Like you’re trying to appear above where you actually are, where you’re seeking like the adoration from others. It’s like, wow, you know, how did she get up there? But stilts are uneasy. Your feet hurt. You can easily fall and you’re looking down and admiring everyone who’s just using their feet. It’s hard to be on eye level with people when you’re walking on stilts. It’s hard to learn new talents when you’re walking on stilts. It’s hard to take breaks when you’re walking on stilts. It’s hard to be you when you’re walking on stilts. And the air up there is not better than the air down here. So take the stilts off and use your feet. I’ll leave you with this quote. Success is not what it looks like to others. It’s only what it feels like to you. Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you are a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review. And give us a follow at Mic Drop Workshop and at Jess Ekstrom. Coming up on Amplify.

Speaker 1 – 00:04:10:

Actually, sometimes being a bit more of a scarce resource, Jess is fully booked until 2024.

Sometimes people are like, oh my gosh, I got FOMO.

Speaker 1 – 00:04:19:

Like, get me, well, I’m going to lock you in for 2025. You know, so sometimes actually creating FOMO can be very powerful as a tactic psychologically for clients. I’m not in the business of lying, but instead of saying Maggie’s on maternity leave, we just said, like, Maggie’s next availability will be October. We would love to hear it at that point.

Jess – 00:04:37:

This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence. And I’m Jess Ekstrom, your host. Remember that you deserve the biggest stage. So let’s find out how to get you there. I’ll see you again soon.

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