Transcript

Adam Tanaka: [00:00:00] So in between crazy calls or like intense meetings at work, even if I'm leading the meetings and have full, you know, control of the, the meeting, it, it's still like, it, you know, drains you, um, you know, anything like that. I would always. Whether, you know, even if it's just me or employees or whoever's around me, it's just like, hey, taking five.
Mm-hmm. And I'm a musician. Um, and I started playing drums when I was 11. And, uh, and so I had my drums set up mm-hmm. There in a room and my take five was running into that room and just laying down a beat or whatever the hell I wanted to lay down. Uh, mess around on the drums. Five minutes. I gave, set the timer, five minutes, and I came outta there.
Just like, I mean, it felt like a, a power nap mixed with like, I mean, it was play. Mm-hmm. You know? 
Jess Ekstrom: Welcome back to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom and where we grow your ideas, influence, and income. Today's guest, Adam Tanaka, he is a multiple [00:01:00] time founder who on paper had it all, he has built and sold companies, and now he speaks on the power of play and creativity and business.
But the start of his story. Was rough. He had a childhood of trauma and a desperate search to just escape, often camping in his backyard bushes just to cope. But that early experience really shaped him, leading him to a rock bottom moment as an adult, even while his business thrived in a single knock on the door that changed everything.
Now Adam shares how play mental health and community are deeply connected, and how we can bring more joy into our lives and work. Let's start at the beginning when Adam's Imagination was his only escape. 
Adam Tanaka: It was, it was rough. It was pretty, a pretty difficult childhood. Um, I will say that both parents were very supportive.
Mm-hmm. Um, from a distance and, uh, we grew up with, you know, little to nothing dad working all the [00:02:00] time because he had to. Mm-hmm. Uh, never saw him, uh, mom. She got addicted to pharmaceuticals because she, she just got bored, I think, uh, being in a small town. And, uh, and so from there, um, it, it really was like, you know, mom being around but not, not there mentally and emotionally and, uh, and with me and my younger sister, um, and us not having.
Having that stability, um, you know, I would see mom going to really dark places. Mm-hmm. And she was the only adult figure that I had to like, look up to. Mm-hmm. And, and so she would bury herself in, in, in drugs. And to the point to where it kind of became a, a weekly, kind of a weekly thing of like her attempting suicide and, you know.
Um, 
Jess Ekstrom: and you were like, how old at [00:03:00] this time? 
Adam Tanaka: When I, when this first came about, um, I was about, let's see, I was about 12 years old when, when it first came about, but I didn't know. This sounds odd, but I didn't know what was going on. Mm-hmm. Um, and it wasn't really until like around 13, 14. Like early teenage years when my, you know, when I, when I started realizing like, oh my gosh, this has like, been a thing.
Mm-hmm. And you know, to the point to where like, I was 15 years old and she gives me a call at nighttime. Uh, 'cause she, her and my dad had divorced by then and she was living in her own little trailer. And she gave me a call just talking out of her mind and I felt something was up. So I kinda ran over 'cause she wasn't far away.
Uh, she didn't live far away and I, I, I ran over there and her house, half of the house was on [00:04:00] fire. And so I ran inside and she had started a fire in the kitchen to burn the house down and she was sitting. The couch on the couch just kinda staring at this fire and looks over at me and just says, I love you.
And, and so I, you know, burns in her arms. I ran over, grabbed her, pulled her out of the, the house, you know, put her in the, in the yard. And we just kind of watched the house burn and the fire department coming and, you know. No, no. Nobody else in my family knowing what the heck was going on. Yeah, obviously.
Uh, 'cause it was just me. And that sounds so dramatic, but that's the thing is like, that was 
Jess Ekstrom: the norm. All 
Adam Tanaka: that was the my norm. Mm-hmm. It was all this, it was urgency. Yeah. And all the time. 
Jess Ekstrom: And then how did that, I mean, I'm sure, obviously this is like a loaded question of like, how did that impact you? But how did it really shape who you are today?
I know that you have. [00:05:00] Had some, some struggles yourself, which I want to get into if you're willing, but what was the path for you to then become this entrepreneur? 
Adam Tanaka: Man, I think, I think for me it's like, I feel like I never, like I never really was able to own something. Mm-hmm. And call my own. Um, and. Uh, and so it, it only made sense to kind of move into something to where I could just kind of at least have something to hold onto that's mine.
Mm-hmm. And, uh, and so I, I started little, you know, businesses when I was a kid, uh, fixing bikes for friends or, or, or whatever. Um, but um, into adulthood like that, childhood trauma. Was sneaking its way back in. Mm-hmm. Uh, through pretty subtle, like very subtle, you know, with employees mm-hmm. And being that rescuer for them.
Mm. And like, if they're going through, or like, you know, they're, they're crushing the business and losing money. Mm-hmm. Uh, the business, it's like, [00:06:00] no, I know. They got it in 'em. Like, I'll help you like almost hanging on. Too long or Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like giving them benefit of the doubt over and over when truly it's like, cut the cord.
Cut the cord. Yeah. But it's like, no, I can, I can rescue, I can fix them. Wow. Um, and it was like that in every relationship I had. Um, it's like I was looking for that. Like problem in somebody. So it's like, okay, what can I do? Mm-hmm. To be the person that can fix it. 
Jess Ekstrom: And almost, I remember you telling me like anything good that was happening, waiting for the problem.
Adam Tanaka: Yes. Even 
Jess Ekstrom: when your company got acquired. 
Adam Tanaka: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like the dream. Right? Right. Yeah. That's the dream of any founders acquisition, but it's like. Okay. Nobody move. Mm-hmm. Uh, something can happen. Um, yeah. 
Jess Ekstrom: And your lifeline in a lot of this is, you know, play and adventure and you have a kid's brand [00:07:00] and. It, it again, what you're not like what meets the eye and with your, with your story, and you want people to play more at work in life.
Tell me why that's important to you and why you have made that your mission as a speaker. 
Adam Tanaka: I think, I think it goes back to childhood. Mm-hmm. Of, of, you know, uh, waiting for that. Kind of permission from an adult, uh, so that I could play, but it, that permission was never there. 
Jess Ekstrom: Yeah. You told me you would can, you told me you would go camping in your bushes, which literally my heart.
I just want to wrap Adam in a blanket and say, I'll play with you because that's just 
Adam Tanaka: that Yeah. That was my escape. Yeah. I mean, you know, if something was going down in the ho in the house Yeah. Like I grabbed my little backpack. I'm pretty sure it had ninja turtles or dinosaurs on it. Yeah. And uh, I would, I would toss some like.[00:08:00] 
Cheese slices in there, and I would go hide in the bushes by the house and just kind of pretend I'm far away. Mm. And, um, and, and everything was gonna be okay. And that, that kind of, again, like as an adult, it, it took truly like me getting to a point in my business, like the first six years of my first company mm-hmm.
To hit truly like, hit rock bottom, like the darkness. Mm-hmm. Um. To understand, like, to start understanding childhood trauma and, and really taking the, getting the tools to pull yourself out and that, that tool was play 
Jess Ekstrom: mm-hmm. 
Adam Tanaka: Uh, for me. 
Jess Ekstrom: And it was a therapist that helped you realize some of like the inner child work around that, that you didn't have permission to play.
Mm-hmm. Can you tell me a little bit about that? 
Adam Tanaka: Yeah. So, uh, it was a. Really significant, uh, pivotal moment when we were working together. And he set up, uh, an empty chair in front of me. And on the card in the chair it said, uh, [00:09:00] kid Adam. And then I was sitting in the chair across from, and he said, I want you to have a conversation with Kid Adam, but I'm gonna help, you know, facilitate this.
Mm-hmm. And so he was like, I just want you to right now tell. Kid, Adam, how proud you are, uh, of him. And also about how, you know, it's hard right now for you and you understand, but things are gonna get better. Mm-hmm. And things are gonna get brighter and, uh. I think what took, like what was supposed to take like a 15 minute conversation took like an hour because I was just kind of, I was just bawling my eyes out.
Yeah. Um, and that was just, that was a moment, that was an eyeopening moment for me. 
Jess Ekstrom: Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the things that I've learned so much from you, like hearing you speak and talk about play is that sometimes play feels. Um, counterproductive, especially as adults, and I mean, I'll be honest, I, with my kids, I know that I wanna like relish this moment of, of building, you know, doing [00:10:00] blocks and all this stuff.
And sometimes I'm like, but I have things to do. I can't, like my daughter wanted me to, um, slither like a snake with her this morning on the hardwood floor. I'm like, I just got dressed like I'm gonna go film this podcast and, but I do it and then I feel better and I'm like. That was really fun to slither like a snake or, I really liked building blocks, but it's my kids that are bringing it outta me.
Your point of view is like, no, let's like bring Legos into the boardroom. Let's, uh, you know, have a conversation while we're playing Uno. What is it about this like directionless point of play that's important to bring into workplace culture or just entrepreneurship in general? Why? 
Adam Tanaka: Hmm. I mean, you said it best, uh, when we were talking yesterday, like we're, we're so, like, we're, we're throwing so much productivity hacks and stuff.
Mm-hmm. Uh, 
Jess Ekstrom: cold plunge. A cold plunge, sauna plunge. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 
Adam Tanaka: Uh, [00:11:00] all the stuff like wake up and drink 32 ounces of water and then go cold plunge. And then it's like, gosh, okay, if I don't do this, what happens? And it's, it's like, yeah. And, and so I think it's one of those things where our, we're so scattered.
Yeah. Uh, throughout the day and, you know, founders, entrepreneurs, we have like. A hundred plus decisions to make in a day. Mm. You know, and, um, whether we realize it or not, and I think that for, for me, what I've found is that play puts you in the moment. Mm-hmm. And when you're in the moment, you, you can actually, it's, it's almost like meditative.
Mm-hmm. Um, and, um, and you just, you're, you're, your thinking is not only clearer, but it's more creative. Yeah. And, and. Creativities 
Jess Ekstrom: because it, I realize now that like when I do play, when I am playful at work, I feel like the rigidness of my like thoughts and ideas start to. Dissolve and I'm like, oh, I wonder what that would look like.
I wonder what it would look [00:12:00] like. Even, you know, in my stage presence, uh, if I go up there and give myself permission to have fun on stage, instead of going up there and saying like, I have to go up there and freaking nail this, that's really suffocating to be like, I gotta go up there and do a great job.
But if I'm like, I'm gonna go up there and serve them the best I can, but also have fun, it's. Such a different experience for me. I don't think I told you this, but when I was, uh, I was filming a LinkedIn learning course and we had wrapped filming. This was in, at their headquarters in Santa Barbara, and we were done.
We still had like two more hours of studio time and they go, okay. We're done. We got all the shots we need. What if we just started over with the first few shots, but you just go nuts, like play, have fun. Here's a clown nose, you know, use props, go into the camera, frame, whatever. And those were the ones that we [00:13:00] ended up using for the main course because it brought something out of me.
They gave me permission to play and it made it. So much better and more engaging for it. How can we give ourselves permission to play in our lives? You talk about something you did, uh, at your old company called Take Five. 
Adam Tanaka: Mm-hmm. 
Jess Ekstrom: Tell me about that. Yeah. Yeah. 
Adam Tanaka: So. Sometimes you have pretty intense calls with clients or 
Jess Ekstrom: mm-hmm.
Adam Tanaka: Partners or whatever. Um, and so in between crazy calls or like intense meetings at work, even if I'm leading the meetings and have full, you know, control of the, the meeting, it's still like, you know, drains you, um, you know, anything like that. I would always, whether, you know, even if it's just me or employees or whoever's around me, it's just like, hey, taking five.
Mm-hmm. And I'm a musician, um, and I started playing drums when I was 11 and, uh, and so I had my drums set up mm-hmm. There [00:14:00] in a room. And my take five was running into that room and just laying down a beat or whatever the hell I wanted to lay down. Uh, mess around on the drums for five minutes. I gave, set the timer, five minutes, and I came outta there.
Just like, I mean, it felt like a, a power nap mixed with like, I mean it was play. Mm-hmm. You know, and it put me in the moment. I wasn't focused on anything business related, personal, it was just me and the drums and, uh. Yeah. 
Jess Ekstrom: Yeah. And like what can people do to find their take five in the day? It's like you could have a ball at your desk.
You could, you know, what are some, maybe not ideas, but like what can people do to create those pockets of time? Because there's people that'll say, well, I don't have five minutes. Yeah. Like, I can't do this. 
Adam Tanaka: Yes. Um. I have a, I have a buddy who, who's a, he did some, he he did, he was a skater. Mm-hmm. When he was a teenager, and he's like [00:15:00] 50 years old and now, and, but he, uh, he isn't a, a founder, but he's a leader in his company and they have some railing in the, like in the warehouse area mm-hmm.
Outside of the warehouse area. And, uh. And so like what he's found is like he brought his skateboard to work and for just a couple minutes we go out there and just try to like, just do an ollie or something. Like I say, simple. I can't even do an Ollie. It's gonna coming one 
Jess Ekstrom: day, like arm dislocated, like I was just taking five.
Right? 
Adam Tanaka: But, but, but truly like. You know, he's been at that company for over the 12, 13 years and, and like he loves it because he's able to just put himself in that moment of play. Yeah, of course. And so I think it's really just kind of honing in on. Not necessarily a hobby, but just what do you enjoy doing that?
You can just escape for a minute. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, I don't have five minutes. Well, if you, if you can't take five to, to just kind of disconnect for just a second. Yeah. Five minutes, [00:16:00] then that's a whole other issue. Then that then issue. It's 
Jess Ekstrom: like you're the one who needs it most. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we're too busy to meditate.
We probably need to meditate, you know? Which is me. Exactly. Yes. I'm like, have my insight timer going while I'm like doing the dishes, but I'm doing them consciously. Right? Yes. One of the things that you also talk about, that's one of like my favorite parts of your talk is like you set this like goal for yourself to be, um, I'm gonna post on LinkedIn every day for like two years, and then you're in Iceland and you see a sheep farmer.
Tell me about this story. 
Adam Tanaka: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. I don't know. The sheep farmer changed my life and I didn't even get to meet him. Um, so after selling the business and, and stuff, I've, I've never been outta the country. Mm-hmm. I, I never went outta the country. And so, uh, for the first time it was like, okay, I can do this.
Yeah. I didn't bring my computer. First time ever did it. Um, I think it was like the sixth or seventh day we were in Iceland. We were driving this back road mountain on one side, ocean on the other. And there [00:17:00] was this sheep farmer walking from his house to. To this hay, hay, hay bell or something. Mm-hmm. Um, sheep were following him and, and we kind of slowed down and pulled off and I was just like, you know, just, just focused on this, this sheep farmer.
And, and so my partner and I started talking about it, uh, and during the drive of like, man, I've been over complicating everything in my life. Mm-hmm. Everything for so long. And it was truly like looking at this sheep farm, I remember saying like. I bet he doesn't have a LinkedIn. Yeah. You know, I bet that guy didn't have a, I didn't, but Farmer doesn't have a LinkedIn.
Yeah. But what if he did? What would it say? But yeah, truly like, um, it, it just, for some reason, that moment, uh, helped me realize that overcomplicating was not the way 
Jess Ekstrom: Right. And that sometimes rigid goals don't do what we want them to do. Mm-hmm. And the, the, instead of setting the expectation of just like.
Play and have fun. I'm gonna play on LinkedIn. I'm gonna see what works. I'm gonna [00:18:00] experiment, right? I'm gonna post this video. I'm going to, um, Hey, I just, this poem about play came into my head. Well, I wonder if people will like it. Like just setting the expectation of play is so simple. But again, going back to you're not what meets the eye.
One of the first things that drew me to you was. Your openness about this point in your life where you had just landed the biggest client like you were, your business was thriving, you had a whole team of people, yet you were in a really dark moment in your life. Can you take us there? 'cause I think that there's some, uh, some, a really great takeaway that a lot of people can learn from it.
Hmm. 
Adam Tanaka: Yeah. Um. Yeah, it was about six years, six or seven years into the business. Um, I, yeah, I had, I mean, I was making more money than I ever [00:19:00] made in my entire life. I didn't, you know, I was able to buy my first house with it. Like, um, you know, I had a ton of people around me who were, were friends and, and supporters and stuff, but it, it truly was like, um.
I was working nonstop, buried in my business, um, and never taking breaks. And, and it just caught up with me. And, uh, and it was one, one night in, uh, in October that, uh, I made a decision that I was done. Mm-hmm. And I was gonna end it. And, uh. And yeah. And so I, uh, I set some automated emails out to my closest customers.
Um, and, uh, I, I wrote three letters, um, one to my dad and, uh, and, and to a couple other people. Um, and that was it. Mm-hmm. I was, I was done. And, and literally it, this sounds [00:20:00] crazy, but literally like it was seconds. Mm-hmm. Uh, I think before. Uh, my best friend in the world just shows up in my back door. It was nighttime, like mm-hmm.
It was not, it was kind of later and he showed up on my back door and he, uh, he was like, he had no reason to be on that side of town. And he was like, Hey man, I just wanted to come by and see what you were up to. Um, 
Jess Ekstrom: wow. And I thought he called you. I didn't know he physically showed up. No, he showed up.
Yeah. Wow. 
Adam Tanaka: He, he showed up. Um. He, yeah, he literally was going the complete opposite way that he lived. And um, and he just stopped by and was like, what are you up to? And I'm like, oh, nothing man. Just kind of wrapping up the day, um, you know, just kind of knocking out some emails and, and so he was like, um, you wanna grab a drink?
And, and so I just, I grabbed a couple of drinks out of the, the fridge, a couple beers, and we sat and we just talked and. We just hung out. Wow. And he went home. I went to bed. Um, and it [00:21:00] wasn't until, uh, a month or so later I said, Hey, I need to talk to you. Yeah. And, uh, I told him about it. Yeah. And, and I told him that You literally saved my life.
Yeah. Um, and, uh, and that was kind of the kickoff to, to a whole new world for me. Um, yeah, 
Jess Ekstrom: it, it really. One of the things you talk about is like one of the key ingredients of play is people, and it makes these shared experiences and brings you closer. And from this moment you created this framework that you now use that has helped so many people that you've told them about.
And it is like once a month, once a week, and once a day. Can you tell us what that, what that is for our listeners? Yeah. 
Adam Tanaka: Yes, absolutely. Um. So, yeah, from that moment on, it was like. You gotta have people mm-hmm. People around you. Um, and what, what I found is that there, there are so many people at the ready to support you.
How can I help, you [00:22:00] know, lighten your load. Mm-hmm. But it's, it's truly like, I feel like it's kind of rare for people to want to celebrate with you. Mm-hmm. Like, Hey, I just landed this big client, cool, let's go do the thing. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's like. What can I do to kinda keep that momentum going? Mm-hmm.
And just kind of at least help me up here. Mm-hmm. Kind of keep moving. And so what I found is, and, and it took a lot of trial and, and stuff, but once a month I just, I call a friend, a family member, uh, a founder friend, and we just deep dive for an hour on the phone, just whatever topic. We wanna talk about.
Mm-hmm. Whether the other person's just listening the whole time, or both of us are kind of riffing and, um, and we just deep dive on something that we, that we've been, you know, struggling with or, or celebrating. And then, um, and then once a week I get in front of two people. Uh, physically mm-hmm. In real life, I sit with two people, uh, with one person the beginning of the week, one at the end.
Mm-hmm. Um, and we just have a conversation, um, friend, family member, founder, [00:23:00] whatever. Mm-hmm. Mentor. Mm-hmm. And, um, no goals. Yeah. Just, just talk, just talk. And then once a day, I, uh, I send a voice note to somebody. Mm-hmm. Um, and just, it's just simply just wanted to check and see how you're doing today.
Mm-hmm. And, uh. And that for me has helped me in more ways than I can even describe, um, to, to be effective as a human. Yeah. Uh, yeah. 
Jess Ekstrom: It's so easy to just be in our own world and be in our own bubble and only talk logistics. So, you know. Are you, I'm just thinking about even with like my partner, like who's picking up the kids today?
Are you picking up and when was the last time we were like. How are you? Like how are you doing? Yeah. We talk all the time, but do we check in all the time? And I think that F gives us a framework of once a month we need a deep dive. Once a week we need to sit in front of someone and once a day check in on someone.
Mm-hmm. And of course this is gonna make us feel [00:24:00] better, but also to your story, you have no idea. What other people are going through. Even if they appear wonderful on social media, we know that's not telling the full story. Um, and so I think that you are such a living testament to what it means to check on other people, to add some play into your life and.
I'm just really, I'm gonna get emotional, but I'm just really glad that you're here and I'm glad that, that you, that he knocked on your door, but I'm glad what you've made it mean for other people, so thank you. Oh 
Adam Tanaka: gosh. Thank you. Is there 
Jess Ekstrom: anything as we end that you would like our listeners to know about, um, either incorporating play or mental health or checking on people?
Adam Tanaka: Yeah. Um, I think, I think something that, [00:25:00] that struck a chord with me and that really helped kind of me, me maintain the having people around you, a community mm-hmm. Uh, of real people is, um, a mutual friend of ours, Sam. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he said something a while ago that I just, I. Think about every day and, and he said that we have to build our community before we need it.
Mm-hmm. And. I realize, and I got chills saying that. Mm-hmm. But I realized like, that's what, that's what saved me. Mm-hmm. And that's what keeps you moving is, is your, is your people. 
Jess Ekstrom: Yeah. I, and I think for anyone who's listening, that's like, where do I begin the, I think your framework. What did we say? We, we were gonna call it community tag.
Community tag. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Once a month you're a deep dive. Yeah. Once a week, sit in front of someone once a day. Send someone a voicemail. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. 
Adam Tanaka: Two seconds. Yeah. Yes. 
Jess Ekstrom: Um, where can people find you who wanna connect with you or book you to speak or follow along and, um, [00:26:00] uh, look at your kids brand?
Adam Tanaka: Oh, yeah. Uh, kids Brand is cave house supply.com. Mm-hmm. Um, and you can check some cool stuff out there. Uh, you can find me, adam tanaka.com. Um. Or you go to my LinkedIn mm-hmm. 
Jess Ekstrom: Uh, 
Adam Tanaka: as well and, and, uh, and would love to have a conversation. 
Jess Ekstrom: Yeah. Awesome. Thanks Adam. 
Adam Tanaka: Yeah, thank you so much.
Jess Ekstrom: Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you're a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and. This episode is brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop, where you can learn how to become a better speaker, how to land paid speaking gigs, and become a keynote speaker. This episode was edited and produced by Walk West.
I'm Jess reminding you that you deserve the biggest stage, so let's find out how to get you there. I'll see you again soon.
.