Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their heads and into their zones of influence. Happy Monday, everyone. Here’s some food for thought to start your week.

Do you ever feel like if you don’t get that one thing, you’re missing the entire train? If you don’t get the role, hit the milestone, take the opportunity, or whatever that singular outcome is, then you’ve missed it, and it’s never going to present itself again? This brings me back to the idea we talked about last time — the fear of missing out (FOMO). I used to struggle a lot with FOMO, so much so that I would burn myself out by saying yes to everything, just because I didn’t want to miss any chances. I think there’s a phase in life — for me, it was under the age of 30 — where saying yes to everything can be really beneficial. Saying yes without any agenda and wanting to create as many, what I like to call, “collision points” as possible for unpredictable opportunities.

And I think that’s great if you’re in that season. But then that “yes” mentality turns from a wondrous, seize-the-day mindset into more of an anxious, “Shoot, I better say yes because I don’t want to miss it” mindset — which isn’t fun. Saying yes starts to feel like a chore. And if you say no, then you’re up at three in the morning wondering what could have been. Well, I’m about to tell you something that really helped silence the FOMO I felt when I said no to things, and I hope it does the same for you: You will never miss what’s made for you.

You might be rolling your eyes right now, but I think if you truly believe that you’ll never miss what’s made for you and you adjust your mindset and actions around that belief, it will really empower your autonomy of choice in your life. It will help you focus on your values, rather than just scattering yourself across opportunities by saying yes to everything. It will also diminish that feeling of regret. We’ve all heard of actors turning down huge roles that ended up being big. Jim Carrey turned down Elf, Tom Hanks turned down Jerry Maguire — I could never picture Tom Hanks as Jerry Maguire! Julia Roberts turned down Sleepless in Seattle. John Travolta turned down Forrest Gump — could you imagine John Travolta as Forrest Gump? And Paul Rudd turned down a role in The Hangover.

You might hear these and react the way I did when I first heard them: “What were they thinking? They missed the role of a lifetime by saying no.” But I actually listened to an interview with Paul Rudd on Armchair Expert recently, where he talked about turning down The Hangover, which became one of the highest-grossing trilogies of all time. Paul made an interesting point as he and Dax Shepard discussed the roles they turned down that ended up being big. Paul said that The Hangover succeeded because of the casting: Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha. It worked. Who knows if the same magic would’ve been there if Paul Rudd had been cast? Plus, what did Paul Rudd do during that time when he wasn’t filming The Hangover that led to other great things? All these movies became hits because of who was in them, not because of who turned them down. So, you will never miss an opportunity that’s made for you — don’t worry about turning down the next Hangover trilogy.

This is why determining what you want your success to look like, and identifying your core values, can be a guiding light in decision-making, diminishing that fear of missing out. So, I’ll leave you with this: become so confident and clear in who you are and what you’re made for that deciding between opportunities feels as simple as deciding whether you want mayo or mustard on your sandwich. Decisions become lighter, regret becomes quicker, and you realize that you’re on nobody’s timeline but your own.

Thanks for listening to Amplify! If you’re a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review, and give us a follow at @MicDropWorkshop and @JessEkstrom. Coming up on Amplify: None of this is easy. There are still days when I’ll think I had a gig locked in, and then it slips away. My immediate thought goes to, “What did I do wrong? How did I mess this up?” Shame and doubt always come up, right? These will always be my go-tos, but I catch them a little quicker now before I spiral all the way down. And even if I do spiral down — which happens — I get back up quicker.

This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence, and I’m Jess Ekstrom, your host. Remember, you deserve the biggest stage — let’s figure out how to get you there. I’ll see you again soon.