Tackling Anxiety with Dr. Lauren Cook

Dr. Lauren Cook

Author and Millennial Therapist

Dr. Lauren Cook is a clinical psychologist, speaker, consultant, and author specializing in anxiety management, mental health, and holistic wellness. She recently published her book “Generation Anxiety,” which explores the reasons behind the heightened anxiety experienced by millennials and Gen Z and offers strategies for coping with this anxiety.

SHOW NOTES

Millennials and Gen Z are the most anxious generations in history. Let that sink in – the most anxious generations in history!

Even though Gen X and baby boomers experienced some stressful situations, anxiety wasn’t at the forefront of everyone’s minds. So why is this happening to millennials in Gen Z, and what can we do about it?

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Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence, and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

**Lauren (00:00:01):**
You know, you and I are both new moms this year, and I know one thing I really struggled with was my own anxiety about having kids. I felt like I wasn’t ready and couldn’t do it. We can be so focused on our careers, which is amazing, but I told myself a narrative that I couldn’t be a parent at the same time. This year, I’ve learned to embrace the mess—it doesn’t have to be perfect.

**Jess (00:00:33):**
Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their heads and into their zone of influence.

**Jess (00:00:40):**
I recently read an incredible book called “Generation Anxiety,” which discusses how millennials and Gen Z are the most anxious generations in history. As a millennial, I’ve experienced this firsthand. Despite our parents and grandparents going through significant stressors like wars, they didn’t seem to suffer from anxiety as much. Why is this happening to millennials and Gen Z, and what can we do about it? Today, we have the author of “Generation Anxiety” on the show, Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, speaker, and consultant, who will help us answer these questions.

**Lauren (00:01:29):**
I think what’s really different for these two generations is the lack of community in a whole new way. We’re intimidated by social media, and we often don’t know our neighbors or have face-to-face friends. People feel more isolated and alone, contributing to a loneliness epidemic. Additionally, many things in the world make people feel unsafe, like gun violence, leading 75% of young adults to feel unsafe every day in America. This constant sense of danger puts our alert system on high edge all the time, which is exhausting.

**Jess (00:02:22):**
Yeah, my anxiety has definitely been amplified since having my baby. Everywhere I go, I feel responsible for her safety. For example, I took her to a football game during a thunderstorm and felt terrible for putting her in that situation. This heightened sense of responsibility makes everything feel ten times worse.

**Lauren (00:03:00):**
I completely agree. Existential anxiety is through the roof. Even simple tasks like driving my baby to daycare bring new levels of anxiety. We realize that there are many things in the world we can’t control. Trying to control everything only makes us feel more out of control. Learning to relinquish some control is crucial for living day-to-day and enjoying life.

**Jess (00:03:40):**
I’m curious about your opinion on the fight-or-flight response. It kicks in during high-pressure situations like thunderstorms or public speaking. Even minor things like receiving a Slack message from your boss can trigger it. Our brain’s survival response isn’t much different whether facing a tiger or giving a speech. How does anxiety manifest in these situations?

**Lauren (00:04:43):**
It’s definitely true. The fear center of the brain, the amygdala, can’t differentiate between real threats and perceived ones. It feels fear and reacts. My work focuses on teaching people to sit with that distress instead of avoiding it. Many people want to numb or avoid discomfort, but behavioral action is crucial. We must show ourselves we can handle distress by taking action, even if it’s uncomfortable.

**Jess (00:05:54):**
I haven’t spoken publicly about this, but I experienced postpartum depression after my baby was born. Logic didn’t help me snap out of it. An opportunity to interview the First Lady of Iceland forced me to take action, even though I felt unprepared. Taking action signaled to my brain that I was still capable. It’s important to feed our brains actions to form beliefs.

**Lauren (00:07:37):**
Behavioral activation is key. Exposure and response prevention is a major treatment for anxiety. It’s about exposing ourselves to feared situations and realizing we can handle distress. Holistic healing is also important. Mental health involves the whole body, not just the brain. I found significant relief from panic attacks through naturopathic treatments and addressing body imbalances.

**Jess (00:08:37):**
I completely ignored my body for 31 years until trying to conceive. After my baby was born, I realized how important it is to address hormonal imbalances. Working with a health coach helped me balance my hormones. Women have unique experiences and roles, whether mothers or not, which affects how we communicate and perceive things. Would you agree?

**Lauren (00:10:17):**
Absolutely. Women have unique perspectives and experiences, especially as new moms. Embracing imperfections and letting go of the need for perfection is crucial. Many millennials strive for achievement and fear not being perfect at both work and parenting. It’s liberating to accept that we don’t have to do everything perfectly.

**Jess (00:11:44):**
The pursuit of perfection is real. I remember a trip where we climbed a false summit, thinking we had reached the top, only to realize the actual peak was still ahead. This mentality fuels ambition but also anxiety. We never feel like we’ve truly arrived. How can we balance this ambition with contentment?

**Lauren (00:13:11):**
It’s the bucket with a hole in it—it’s never enough. We’re always in the middle, never fully arriving. Ambition is exciting but can also be exhausting. Learning to be okay with where we are, even if there’s always something next, is crucial. It’s a constant challenge to balance ambition with contentment.

**Jess (00:15:04):**
A coach helped me realize that I love the process of building things. Instead of feeling scattered, I accepted that building is my passion. Your book, “Generation Anxiety,” states that anxiety shouldn’t determine our life’s outcome. What tips do you have for people hesitant to take the next step in their career or life?

**Lauren (00:16:34):**
Chunking, or breaking tasks into small pieces, is a useful strategy. Big goals can feel insurmountable, so taking small steps is crucial. Finding mentors and asking for guidance is also important. Jumping into action, even if it feels uncomfortable, helps build confidence. It’s about showing ourselves that we can handle challenges.

**Jess (00:18:09):**
When building keynote talks in Mic Drop Workshop, we chunk the content into smaller talks to make it less intimidating. What are your tips for preparing to speak on stage?

**Lauren (00:18:44):**
I get nervous before speaking, especially after a break. Diaphragmatic breathing helps center me. Meeting the audience beforehand humanizes the experience and reduces nerves. I also avoid caffeine and have water on stage to stay calm. Having a chair on stage as a backup is comforting.

**Jess (00:20:13):**
Meeting the audience beforehand is a great idea. It makes the room feel smaller and more manageable. Breathwork helps me feel in control. What happens when you experience a panic attack on stage?

**Lauren (00:22:20):**
It’s uncomfortable and scary. I feel it coming with nausea, which is tied to my vomit phobia. Most people are compassionate and understanding, which helps alleviate some fear. Reminding ourselves that the audience is on our side is crucial.

**Jess (00:24:06):**
The audience is usually supportive and not overly critical. They’re not thinking about us as much as we think they are. Knowing this can be liberating.

**Lauren (00:24:54):**
Exactly. Most people are focused on their own lives and are kind-hearted. This realization helps reduce anxiety.

**Jess (00:25:20):**
Absolutely. Focusing on helping the audience rather than worrying about their judgment is key. It’s not about us; it’s about the message we’re sharing.

**Lauren (00:25:21):**
That’s a great perspective. It’s about delivering value to the audience, not about personal performance.

**Jess (00:26:03):**
To close out, everyone should buy Lauren’s book, “Generation Anxiety.” It’s one of my favorite reads of the year. Lauren, can you share your favorite tip from the book?

**Lauren (00:26:58):**
One of my key concepts is empowered acceptance. It’s about accepting anxiety and difficult realities while being empowered to take action. We can’t eliminate anxiety, but we can learn to live with it and take proactive steps to manage it.

**Jess (00:27:22):**
Thank you, Dr. Lauren Cook. “Generation Anxiety” is available now. Follow Lauren on TikTok for more insights. Thank you for your friendship and support. See you soon.

**Lauren (00:27:19):**
Thank you, Jess.

**Jess (00:27:22):**
Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you enjoy the show, please rate and review us. Follow us at Mic Drop Workshop and Jess Ekstrom. This episode was edited and produced by EarFluence. Remember, you deserve the biggest stage. Let’s find out how to get you there. See you soon.