Redefining Masculinity, and the Power of Authenticity with Antonio Neves

Antonio Neves

Author of ‘Stop Living on Autopilot,’ Founder of Man Morning, Award-Winning Journalist, and Personal Leadership Speaker

Antonio Neves is a global keynote speaker, acclaimed coach, bestselling author of ‘Stop Living on Autopilot’, award-winning journalist, and the publisher of Man Morning, the top newsletter for growth-driven men.

FOLLOW Antonio

SHOW NOTES

Antonio Neves saw a problem: he couldn’t find the right content for balancing personal growth and family relationships, especially as a man in today’s society. So he decided to do something about it by founding the Man Morning newsletter, a platform dedicated to inspiring men to start their day with purpose and intention.

Learn tips on self-improvement, on-stage speaking, stepping out of your comfort zone, and prioritizing emotional well-being to lead a more fulfilling and enriched existence.

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(00:00:32) Embracing Masculine Growth and Connection Newsletter
(00:03:08) Celebrating Accomplishments for Personal Growth
(00:17:14) Celebrating Value and Empowerment in Males
(00:23:05) Man Morning Meetings for Emotional Release
(00:23:06) Emotional Support for Men: Man Morning Gatherings

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Rate Amplify on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Jess Ekstrom.

Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence, and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

Antonio:

The ripple effect of me getting better, like when I get in great shape, that has a positive effect on my family, right? When I’m heard, when I’m doing my work, it has a positive effect on my relationship with my wife and beyond. So I would say that, you know, Man Morning is 100% an ally to women because when we focus on husbands. And fathers who want to improve at all of those things.

Jess:

Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their head and into their zone of influence. Today’s guest is Antonio Neves, or as I call him, Tony. Global leadership speaker, founder of the Man Morning newsletter, and author of Stop Living on Autopilot. I met Tony way back at my first paid speaking gig, 2013 at Lander University in Greenwood, South Carolina. When I got off stage, I thought it went okay. But of course, you know that there are things that you could have done better. Looking back, I used like a prezzy presentation that… Spun and swirled with crazy audio and graphics. But when I asked Tony how I did, he looked at me and said, I crushed it. And looking back, I appreciate that moment so much because I know with his experience, he could have given me a laundry list of improvements.

Antonio:

Oh, 100%. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. And listen, I was still raw. I was just coming out of the television industry and I didn’t know what it was to speak for 60 minutes straight. I had a horrible PowerPoint presentation. I did learn enough at that point through my coaching work that there are moments. You have to pick your moments when you’re going to share feedback, when you’re going to give thoughts and those types of things. And unfortunately, typically, that’s not when someone comes directly off of the stage. Right. So one, you don’t want to give it to them when they come off the stage. Also, you want to make sure they have buy in. Right. It’s like, hey, are you open to a suggestion? Are you open to feedback? Are you open to a thought? You just don’t. A lot of people just volunteer. I remember I got off the stage. I’m not going to tell you what event it was. It was a big event. And I got off the stage and crushed, standing ovation. Thousands of people. I remember getting backstage and people were kind of looking at me like, well, man, this dude. And someone came up to me immediately and said, one of the event organizers and said, you know, I really did not like your reel and I did not want to hire you. And I was like, in my brain, I was like, woman, now is not the time to tell a dude when he comes off of the stage when, as you know, you can be extremely vulnerable in that moment. And she probably didn’t mean any ill will. And thank goodness, due to maturity in life, I didn’t take any offense to it. And I could tell a colleague said something to her. But the point is, you got to pick your moments. And for me, you know, we’re so good in society of calling people out. My mission is to call people up. I think that’s what great leaders do. That’s what great managers do. It’s easy to call someone out, just go to social media. But calling someone up to be the better version of themselves, that’s extremely rare.

Jess:

Yeah, yeah. And I think that’s something I’ve learned from you over the years. And you’re right. I think it is a kind of a funny phenomenon when you get off of stage or when you do something big, like a presentation or whatever it might be, where probably people think like, oh, this person is riding high. I am never more delicate than I am. I don’t care how well it went. Like those, the rest of the day, I feel like I need a good sleep in between when I talk to feel like I am open to being a human again. And Jake has learned that the hard way because he’s come to a lot of my talks. And he’s like, you did great. You just tripped up that one line and did it, but it was awesome. And I’m like. Don’t tell me that. Now I’m just thinking about that one line that I could have done better. Why do we do that? Why are we our own worst critic the moment we stretch ourselves or do something that maybe we think is a little bit out of our reach?

Antonio:

Yeah, well, I think, when we feel naked, like, listen, let’s be clear as a speaker. When you go on stage and listen, there’s a before and after for me as a speaker. I mean, you saw me, you saw the before. And now, you know, the after. Stop Living on Autopilot guy who wrote that book. I’m real. I’m raw. I reveal. It’s vulnerable. In many ways, it is artistry. I know not many speakers will call themselves artists. I’m starting as I get older and more comfortable in my skin to consider myself more of an artist with the writing that I do, with the creating that I do, with the speaking that I do. Because what you know, Jess, is that speaking, especially for 60 minutes. Which, by the way, whenever someone says, I want to be a speaker, I’m like, listen, you have no idea how long 60 minutes is. Especially if the first eight minutes are not going good and that audience is giving you absolutely nothing back. And you see that clock and it’s like 52 minutes. And you’re like, oh, man. Oh, man. But, you know, it’s artistry, so it’s raw and it’s vulnerable. And so we get off of that stage and it’s like we’re naked. And sometimes what we most need in that moment is a hug. We need that high five. We need that reinforcement, whether it went great or not. And thank goodness, again, I’ve reached that point. Probably, where you are as well, is that. I don’t ask folks, how was it? Do you think the audience liked it? I’m not asking the event organizer that. I’m thanking that, my brain. Like, I hope you liked it. I hope you really got your money’s worth and that investment that you gave me. But it’s raw, it’s vulnerable, especially. Especially if you’re really pouring your heart out. I think the way that you do, the way that I do, it’s artistry, it’s beyond speaking.

Jess:

That’s interesting. Let’s talk about artistry for a second, because I do feel like I was probably, and I’ve talked about this on the podcast a couple of times. I think I was probably a better artist with my speaking when I wasn’t trying to sell myself in the beginning, when I didn’t even know that you could make money doing this. And then as you get older and all of a sudden this becomes 70% of your income, so much of what you put into it is thinking about what you’re going to get out of it. And is this sellable? What market will this hit? What need is this addressing? And so the artistry becomes more corporatized than it did when you were starting out. Do you experience that as a speaker trying to draw the line of like, you know, creating your art, but also wanting to hit the need that warrants the price point that you quote.

Antonio:

Yeah, well, as you know, I think a lot of times we get hired based on referrals or they’ll see us at an event like, oh, we saw you speak at XYZ or at that association event or this company or you’re referred to us. So in a way, you’re like, yo, I got to deliver on what they saw. They hired me to be that dude that they saw in Tuscaloosa, Alabama on that random Tuesday in March. Who knows what was going on in my life? I used to feel this pressure like, yo, I got to deliver on what the service is, what they want. What I found, though, over the years is that when I tried to always stick to the script, Jess, the corporate talk, I lost a bit of myself. I think there are times that you’ve probably found yourself delivering a keynote. Especially if you do quite a few over the course of many days, you’re like, where am I? What is happening right now? Have I said this already? This is like a whole other realm. But I’ll tell you something, when it comes to artistry, something that I found out is that I needed to be true to myself. Because early on, and I miss these moments. And in this book, I think, I’m going to jumble this all up, but I think Bob Dylan said something to the tune of like, when the moment comes, you got to go with it. You have to chase it. Because that song may never come again. So I can think back specifically early in my speaking career, Jess, that I’d be speaking, doing my three-act kind of structure and kicking butt. But at some point. Maybe as I’m transitioning from point A to point B in my keynote, I would feel something else. I would feel compelled to mention something or to acknowledge something that was said in a previous talk or maybe something that’s going on in society. Or if you want to say the spirit, like, oh, something’s overcoming me right now that I want to go a different direction. But early on, I resisted going that direction because I was like, yo, they did not hire a kid to be an artist and to go that direction. They hired him to give this staple keynote that they see. But at some point, I think as I got older and I started trusting myself and even loving myself a little bit more, I gave myself permission to go off on those tangents to see where it was going to take me. And I swear, does it always take me to like some amazing Valhalla kind of moment? No, but many times those are the most poignant moments because they are raw. They are in real time. It is coming from some type of source. And I go off. Right. And it’s like, whoa, where did that come from? I’m a brain. I’m like, I hope somebody is recording this. I hope I’ll get audio of this. And I think I was afraid in the beginning of doing that because maybe I wasn’t seasoned enough. I didn’t know if I could find my way back.

Jess:

Find your way back. Yeah.

Antonio:

Right. Because as speakers, many times we can go off on exits. And I’ve seen speakers take exits during their keynotes. And unfortunately, they never, they never, after getting gas.

Jess:

Then they’re gone on a different highway. Yeah.

Antonio:

They’re gone on a different highway. I’m at this stage now, am I speaking probably the same way you are? I can get off on multiple exits, plug in the Tesla, watch a movie for a second, and then get back on the road and connect it to whatever I was doing. Not sure if I answered your question, but I find that those moments, they’re just rare. They’re fleeting. That brilliance when you’re writing. You have moments when you’re writing, I got to write this down. And so I have to be true to myself and honor those moments as much as I can.

Jess:

Yeah, I think that it goes back to like where… I think almost the pathway that I’m thinking about is like you start off doing this work in thought leadership as an artist. And then there’s a season where you’re just getting in your reps and you’re figuring out what you want to be known for, like who is Tony, who is Jess, and getting those referrals. And you have to almost learn the business side, make sure that you’re scratching in an itch that people will pay for. And then once you have that, finding the gaps or opportunities in your talk where you can take safe risks and where you know that you can kind of let your artistry come back because you can trust yourself enough that you know the audience, you’re still delivering on what you said you would deliver on, and you can find your way back to your talk. But I wouldn’t say for someone who’s just starting out, oh yeah, just vibe. Yeah.

Antonio:

I’ve learned this. I learned a lot in the speaking game. But nine times out of 10, if anyone ever comes on the stage and they say, you know, I had something planned, but I’ve been really inspired by what I’ve been hearing on stage so far, I’m just going to speak from my heart. I hear that and I’m like, dude, do not prepare.

Jess:

Yeah.

Antonio:

Dude, did not prepare. You are not respecting the audience. And that talk typically is absolutely horrible when someone says they’re going to speak from their heart. It means they did not prepare. So yeah, I agree with you 100%. And I think something else that’s allowed for flexibility for me to be the artist. Is, well, one, You find out if you’re a professional speaker the day that technology breaks.

Jess:

Oh my gosh. Okay. We need to flag that one. The day that

Antonio:

PowerPoint does not work, the day that that projector does not work and you have an hour and people are staring at you, you find out if you are a pro or not. I can tell you right now, going back to the reps, thank goodness to my early days, those probably three good years of speaking on college campuses across the country where I got to get those reps in and low-stakes situations. Takes me back to my TV career when you don’t start in the big markets, you start in small markets. Why? So you can mess up, right? The stakes are low. I’ll never forget that moment. I’m giving a keynote at some random college three hours away from the airport in Kansas. By the way, is it just me? Or college is always like three hours? Away from-

Jess:

Yes, from the closest airport.

Antonio:

Airport. And I remember that technology broke. And my heart broke at that moment. I was like, your boy is not ready to roll. I got through it. I figured it out. And I remember that moment driving back to the hotel or hotel or airport. And I was like, I will never find myself in that situation again.

Jess:

Yes.

Antonio:

Never will I find myself not prepared to deliver if technology breaks. Which fast forward to today, 2024 maybe? Where are we?

Jess:

Yeah, what are we, 2024? Yeah.

Antonio:

It’s somewhere. Very rarely, if ever these days, Jess, do I use a PowerPoint presentation. I stopped using them around 2022 because I found that, again, going back to being corporate, being that machine, that robot, I found that having the script, if you will. That I had to follow for that hour, it stopped me from having those magical moments. Interesting. It stopped me from connecting with the audience. So now I will go rock a 60-minute keynote with no PowerPoint. And so these people are staring at me. There’s no way. Oh, look at this image of a man on a peak with his arms spread out wide with some horrible quote. No, it’s me. So it put pressure on me to know my stuff, but also it created so much freedom to go off script, to have some insights. So now you and I, thank goodness, get to speak at an event together later this year. And I can’t wait for you to see me because I think you haven’t saw me speak in a long time. I don’t know if you’re going to recognize that, dude, because it feels more like something we talked about years ago. It feels more like a combination of comedy plus motivational speaking plus real talk. And it’s only because I got rid of that doggone PowerPoint. And I use it every now and then, especially for work. But keynotes, it’s just me.

Jess:

Interesting. See, I feel the opposite. I wouldn’t say that the PowerPoint is a comfort for me. But it is like. The way that I can give the audience a gift, I know that my strength in speaking and what I love to teach in Mic Drop Workshop is like, after you tell them the story, the lesson, what’s the headline? And that headline needs to be on a slide because they’re going to be like, what did she just say? What’s her handle? How can I tweet it? I want that. So I want you to give them that gift at the end of it, which is just like, boom, slide, summary. But I see what you’re saying in that by not having the framework of the PowerPoint, it gives more room for you to take those exits, get back on, and for your artistry to shine. But I think there’s obviously more than one way to do it. But yeah, I feel differently.

Antonio:

Yeah. There’s no right or wrong way to do it 100%. If you are just beginning your speaking career, I would not suggest going on stage 60 minutes without maybe something to guide you in the beginning, of course. Now, the audience may not see this, Jess, but you know in front of me on that stage is a confidence monitor where I have my five bullet points that I see that allow me to know what I’m going. And I can obviously do it without the five bullet points on the confidence monitor. To your point, from a branding perspective, if someone’s going to tweet or post something, though I don’t have a PowerPoint presentation, I do have a main slide that I use that they still see of me, a gangster photo with my handle and all that stuff. So that’s still in my books. So that’s still up there while I’m speaking. I’m just not flipping through.

Jess:

Yeah. Well, one thing I want to talk about that I want to make sure we hit on, like, of course, I feel like every podcast or show that you’re on, We could talk about your… Time on Nickelodeon. We could talk about your time as an anchor for like all the major, major shows. What I would like to talk about is Man Mornings. Because what I think, and I was talking to my team before this, because they’re like, who are we recording with today? And I was like, one of them is my good friend, Tony. And I think that… We can be so honest with each other and maybe get a little uncomfortable in ways that I wouldn’t be able to do with other guests because we have such a long history. And I think one of the things that, I don’t know if it’s that we both disagree on, but that we are having differences, in our career is obviously Mic Drop Workshop exists to elevate women. And you’re like, I saw this post from you the other day about your son. How old is he now? How old is he? He’s seven?

Antonio:

He just turned eight years old.

Jess:

Eight. Eight. I cannot believe that. I remember when you told me you were expecting twins, which was crazy to me. But he’s like, dad, where are the days? Where are the marches? Where is the stuff for boys? First, before we get into it, talk to me about that moment with your son and that.

Antonio:

Yeah. I believe it was Women’s History Month or Women’s History Month. And my son came home one day. And he was just talking about, he said, dad, how come they don’t ever celebrate boys? How come they don’t ever celebrate men? He says every single month there seems to be some type of day, some type of month, some type of celebration. But something I’ve noticed, and I’m being a little bit more articulate than he was when he was seven years old when he was saying this, he said, but they never celebrate boys. They never celebrate men. Why not? And listen, that hit me in the face and it hit me hard. And it reminded me that we need to empower our boys and let them know that it’s okay, to be boys and it’s okay, to be men in this society. Obviously, we could have a long discussion about the marginalization of women and other communities and all that. All those things are important. And I simultaneously think it’s important that we empower our young men and boys as well to know that they are valuable, contributing members of society and also to remind them they are needed. I think a lot of men, especially when you hear about where we I’m not going to mention different names of people that say young men are drawn to nowadays. But I think a lot of people are drawn to these, you know, extreme voices, if you will, because no one is saying nowadays that you’re needed. If anything, I feel like what they’re hearing is that you’ve had your time in the sun. Now it is our turn and forget about you. And of course, there’s a lot of nuanced, different things and all of that. But I heard that and it broke my heart a bit. And I just said, no, I’m gonna make sure I empower this boy. I’m going to make sure he’s celebrated outside of sports, because typically I feel like the place where boys are celebrated is if they happen to do sports.

Jess:

Sports or something in that masculine range. Yeah. Yeah. And I have a son coming in two months, which is crazy to me. So that post, when you shared that about your son, it really. It really made me think because, of course, when Ellie was born, I was like, I’m going to make sure that she knows she can do anything. That, you know, she is like, I am woman, hear me roar. But now thinking about how I want to raise my son, yeah, I don’t want him to think that his time is up. I don’t want him to think that he needs to sit in the background. I want to teach him how to be an ally for his sister or people who are oppressed. And I’ve even thought about this in my business. You know, with Mic Drop Workshop, it started because the numbers don’t lie. Like, less than 30% of paid public speakers are women, and the pay discrepancy is absolute bullshit between men and women. And I still experience that to this day, even being a Forbes top-rated speaker myself. And so this company was started to solve a problem that is just factual. It’s not opinion. However, sometimes I feel like, well, the more that we separate, this is for men, this is for women, are we getting further away from the goal that we want, which is just for it to be I’m a person? What do you think about that?

Antonio:

Yeah. Well, I love what you do with Mic Drop Workshop. I love that one time I reached out to you and I mentioned something about doing something for men. And you’re like, right now, my focus is on women. And everything you just said, those stats, those are real. And I’m glad you’re tackling them head on. And I don’t think it has to be either or. I don’t think Mic Drop Workshop pins women against men by no means.

Jess:

Right. Yeah.

Antonio:

I don’t see that at all whatsoever. I think it’s super, super empowering. And I think it is important to create some spaces where people feel like they can fully be seen, they can fully be heard. And I think one of the great things about Man Morning, and we can talk about that, is that it’s one of the rare places where men all across the country, where these chapters have started, where they actually get to say what’s on their mind, right? A lot of men who are in those years of responsibility, when they’re being asked to provide, they’re being asked to obviously be great spouses and parents. They’re trying to simultaneously accomplish their personal goals, do all these different things. A lot of men feel like so much is being asked of them, but they don’t get to share much of that out loud. It’s kind of like, again, society doesn’t talk about it too much. It’s like, shut up, do your job.

Jess:

Yeah, yeah. When we were going through postpartum, I don’t mean to interrupt, but it just reminds me of me and Jake, where finally, being a little bit on the other side of Ellie being born, he expressed me like, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to have any complaints. You know, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to struggle or share things that were hard because I knew it was harder for you. And I feel like, yeah.

Antonio:

That’s what we do as men. We put that on our shoulders. That’s what they tell us we’re supposed to do. Put that on your shoulders. Have a stiff upper lip or walk tall and handle your business.

Jess:

And if I’m being honest. Yeah, in that time for me, I don’t know if I was in a place where I could hear his complaints, if I’m just being real. Because I did carry a resentment that it’s like my whole body, my life, my mind has changed. You in, in the way that I was seeing it. And I did have, you know, hormones and my chemistry was crazy. The way that I saw it was like, I sacrifice everything. You didn’t have to sacrifice anything. And that’s just the way I saw it. So yeah, and I don’t think I was in a spot to hear that. So I was just reinstating that belief to keep it to yourself. Yeah.

Antonio:

I would say that most of society is not in a spot to hear it, unfortunately. I’m going to share a link with you to a song after we hang up today that really encapsulates all this by this artist Dax. And Darius Rucker is on the song as well. Well, and here’s also things I’ve learned is that obviously, and Esther Perel, a psychotherapist, talks about this as well, is that we can’t expect our partner to be everything to us.

Jess:

A 100%.

Antonio:

I think in society we want, well, I married my best friend, my everything, my so-and-so. Like that’s a lot of pressure.

Jess:

That’s a lot of pressure.

Antonio:

That you’re putting on your boo thing, right? So the great thing about Man Morning specifically, we can talk about the newsletter and how it happens in real life chapters is that. We get together and we get to talk about, we open with two questions, Jess, two powerful questions. One, what are you celebrating today? Do you know how rare it is as dudes that we say out loud what’s going good, what we’re celebrating, big or small, personally or professionally? Very rare. During my weekly man morning here in LA, dudes say things. They’re like, man, I haven’t told anybody that yet. We’re talking about big wins. These are all entrepreneurs, solo-preneurs doing amazing things. And then we get to that question, that meaty question that is, what are you navigating today? And men can talk about what they’re navigating in the marriage as a parent, as a business owner. It’s a society. You name all these different things. Again, things that typically stay inside, in my experience. And all you have to do is read my book, Stop Living on Autopilot, to know about this, is that I believe that so many men. And, of course, what I’m saying applies to everyone, but I’m speaking to men right now. So many men are emotionally constipated. We have a backlog of emotions that we don’t let out because we’re supposed to be the stoic dude, sip off her lip. We have a backlog of anger that is not getting out. We have a backlog of fear that is not getting out. We have a backlog of sadness that is not getting out. And what happens, when we don’t let all these things up, we get emotionally constipated. Typically, it’s like shaking a can of soda nonstop and it explodes at the wrong time over something silly, whether it’s road rage, a kid spills some Cheerios on the floor, a wife says something random, you get off the stage and somebody says you messed up on that word and you exploded the wrong time because we don’t have these outlets, these release valves. So the in-person version of Man Morning is that release valve to say, man, I see you. I hear you. And even more so, I’m proud of you. Like my wife now on the days when I’m like, I don’t think I’m going to go to Man Morning. She’s like, nah, you need to go. You got to go like and it’s like early on a Thursday and it messes up school schedule and all that. And it is 100 percent needed. And now I just love that every single week. Men get this. And by the way, so many women subscribe to this. Like men get this weekly newsletter. And I look at it as a weekly pep talk for men who want to get better. It’s as simple as that. And it’s just having, it’s making amazing waves across the country.

Jess:

You know, it’s interesting to me hearing you talk because obviously the spirit of what I do and the spirit of Amplify and this show is like, how do we elevate women’s voices? And so talking about a newsletter in a space that’s built just for men on the outside might seem like the opposite. But I know that like you as my friend, you are unable to like lift me up as a woman if you’re not being heard as a man.

Antonio:

Mmm.

Jess:

Would you agree with that? How is Man Mornings helping women, would you say?

Antonio:

First, that’s a mic drop right there, what you just said. That’s powerful. The way Man Mornings is helping men is one through the newsletter, but also these meetups. These men come back better. They’re able to better be better husbands. They’re able to be better parents. They find themselves getting in better shape. They find themselves staying away, giving the stiff arm to porn, to booze, those things they typically use to distract themselves. I find that the men who are reading this newsletter religiously every single week, the men that are joining these chapters across the country, whether it’s in LA, whether it’s in Tampa, whether it’s in Arizona, whether it’s in Minnesota, it makes them a better spouse. It makes them a better significant other parent and beyond so they can raise up their family as well. It’s funny you say that because I think maybe it was lost and maybe I’ve done a poor job of the messaging regarding this, that we’re doing this so we can be better out there as well. It’s not just about me, the ripple effect, of me getting better. Like when I get in great shape, that has a positive effect on my family, right? When I’m heard, when I’m doing my work, it has a positive effect on my relationship with my wife and beyond. So I would say that, you know, Man Morning is 100% an ally to women because, when we focus on husbands. And fathers who want to improve at all of those things. And it’s not either or, it’s just, it’s a blast.

Jess:

Yeah. Well, I want to close with you always have some mic drop advice. And so taking our listeners into consideration who are either out there on the road already as speakers, aspiring speakers, thought leaders, we have some meeting planners that listen, people who are in the event space, what is anything that you could just help them amplify their voice a little bit louder?

Antonio:

Oh, wow. Well. I want to get to the artistry side of things. I think, in terms of the audience, that they’re seeing some of you, for most of you, but they’re not seeing all of you. They’re not seeing all of you because you’re afraid to go there. You’re afraid to go vulnerable. You’re afraid to open up. And I can tell you something shifted when I started sharing all of me. On stages. When I shared that I had a secret cigarette smoking habit for years, there was a connection to that audience. When I shared about the struggles I had early on being a parent, not knowing how to connect to those kids. When I struggled about my wife and I getting fired from a few marriage counselors, those vulnerable things you don’t want to say out loud typically are the things that are going to bring an audience.

Jess:

That people need to hear.

Antonio:

They need to hear. They’re going to bring closer to you. So from a speaker perspective, I want you to be open. Now, I want to be clear also is like, not everyone deserves to hear your story. You don’t have to share it with everyone. There are some things that are just for you, right? I think a lot of people, their whole message is like trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma, right? And make that a sound effect, right? Trauma, but it has to have something on the other side of that, what that message is. And again, I want you to show you like, it’s funny, Jess, you mentioned something, but before we hit record, like right now I’m a dude with dreadlocks and a mustache. When Jess met me over 10 years ago, I was buttoned up, cropped hair.

Jess:

Polished.

Antonio:

Clean, shaven face because in many ways I was hiding, right? I was projecting what I thought the world wanted of me versus who I was. I used to get on stages in that suit and that sport coat and all those things. Now I get on stage in a nice pair of jeans, a nice pair of kicks, a t-shirt, a chore jacket. I’m 100% me. And it took time for me to get there. So this is a long answer, but I want you to be more of you. And when you deliver that next keynote, when you deliver that next presentation, ask yourself, what does it look like to peel back? A little bit more. You share that amazing statistic. You share that amazing point. And when you say, for example, What does that look like? For you is going to bring people a little bit closer.

Jess:

That’s a great, like, just launching pad for you to go into your story.

Antonio:

And a quick thought for… Event planners as well. Be open to bringing in more people that look nothing like your audience.

Jess:

A hundred percent. Yes.

Antonio:

Right? Because I get, I get an event planner may see this and they’re like, is this audience, they’re going to connect with the dude with dreadlocks and a mustache.

Jess:

Or is our audience of 80% men going to connect with a woman speaker? That’s what I find a lot.

Antonio:

Exactly. That’s exactly who they need to hear. That’s who they need to see. So be open into bringing in a diversity of voices and those folks that may not be the easiest. Yes. Because they don’t necessarily speak on this topic or align with it. They’re just going to add value, mix it up, stretch yourself, even scare yourself a little bit.

Jess:

Yeah. Yeah. Tony, you’re the best. Thank you for being here. Where can people find Man Morning? Stop Living on Autopilot. How can people find you?

Antonio:

Yeah, manmorning.com. That’s easy for everything. Antonio Neves has a V. antonioneves.com. One day that dude in Brazil is going to slip up and not re-register antonioneves.com. And I’ll get rid of the V, but for today, it’s the.

Jess:

I’m going to buy it and then I’m going to sell it back to you. So, there we go.

Antonio:

Yeah, manmorning.com, theantonioneves.com. All my books, all that fun stuff is there.

Jess:

Thanks, Tony. Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you are a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review. And give us a follow @micdropworkshop and @jessekstrom. This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence and I’m Jess Ekstrom, your host. Remember that you deserve the biggest stage. So let’s find out how to get you there. I’ll see you again soon.