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Nervous Energy and Practicing Flubs with Lindsay Boccardo

May 29, 2024
Lindsay Boccardo and Jess Ekstrom discuss public speaking, sharing tips on tackling imposter syndrome, being authentic, and creating engaging messages.
Nervous Energy and Practicing Flubs with Lindsay Boccardo
May 29, 2024
Lindsay Boccardo and Jess Ekstrom discuss public speaking, sharing tips on tackling imposter syndrome, being authentic, and creating engaging messages.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

ON THIS EPISODE OF AMPLIFY

Join Lindsay Boccardo and Jess Ekstrom as they explore the world of public speaking. In this episode, they discuss their journeys, challenges like imposter syndrome, and navigating the competitive speaking industry. Lindsay and Jess stress authenticity and finding your unique voice.

Receive valuable guidance on launching a speaking career by clarifying your value and message and effectively connecting with audiences. Emphasizing the significance of community and collaboration is key to personal and professional development.

Gain insights into preparation and mindset for speaking engagements. Lindsay shares her calming routines and mantras, while Jess reflects on her early experiences and lessons learned.

Whether you’re starting or experienced, Jess and Lindsay offer tips and inspiration to thrive in the speaking world. Tune in to learn from two dynamic speakers who empower others through their words.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Lindsay Boccardo – International speaker 

Lindsay Boccardo is a well-known speaker and generational consultant who is passionate about helping organizations unlock the talent of their multigenerational workforce. With a psychology and public communications background, she’s traveled the country and brings over a decade of coaching and speaking experience, captivating audiences with her lively presentations. Lindsay’s mission is to bridge generations by finding shared values and creating a collaborative vibe.

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SHOW NOTES

Lindsay Boccardo is no stranger to making mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes she made was walking down the aisle to marry a man while trying to convince herself she wasn’t gay! However, once she became comfortable with her authentic self, she made a career out of speaking and training organizations on how to support their team members to be themselves.

Today, Lindsay talks about mistakes, bringing your full self to the stage, and how to practice the inevitable flubs – because they will happen!

Lindsay Boccardo is a keynote speaker who works with organizations that want to maximize the talent of multiple generations in their workforce. She also created the Dynamite Delivery Course inside Mic Drop Workshop.

 

Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence, and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Lindsay Boccardo: Hello, hello! Hello! I am so excited to kick this series off with you, Jess. You’re the first!

[00:00:34] Jess Ekstrom: I know! You are the first. I was thinking about doing this for a while, and because I’m like, Selfishly, I love just speaking to other speakers and seeing what’s going on, what’s working. The industry is always changing.

And so when I was like, you know what, let’s, let’s just do this. Who better to start with than, I mean, the queen yourself, just absolutely crushing it out there. [00:01:00] You know, there’s those people that you follow, um, that, you know, I’ll admit you’re like the first time you follow them. And I’m curious if you are like this, like me, where I’m a type three Enneagram.

Do you know what you, you are on the Enneagram? I’m a seven, but I got a good amount of,

[00:01:18] Lindsay Boccardo: Remixed in

[00:01:18] Jess Ekstrom: there. Yeah. My husband’s a seven, so I know you know you well, but um, you’re probably planning your next trip right now or next adventure. Yes. I’m going to Banff, Canada. Oh, I love Banff. Okay. We’ll have to talk about that later.

But, um, so when I first followed you, because I, I got introduced to you through, um, Lindsay and a different Lindsay and, uh, do you ever follow someone? And you, like, there’s a little bit of imposter syndrome when you follow them and you kind of take it like, maybe we can’t be friends because she’s doing what I’m doing, what I want to do.

Oh,

[00:01:53] Lindsay Boccardo: in the speaking world, it’s like, oh, there’s other people that do this? I feel threatened.

[00:01:57] Jess Ekstrom: I

[00:01:59] Lindsay Boccardo: thought I

[00:01:59] Jess Ekstrom: was the [00:02:00] only one. Yes. I know, you’re like, it’s almost like every stage that you see someone else on, you’re like, why didn’t they, why didn’t they call me? Which is such a, Not the way to think, but I’ll admit that it happens to me sometimes, and it happened to me when I saw you, but then when I met you, and it’s like, I think it’s Brene Brown that says it’s hard to hate people up close.

That’s a strong word, like never hate, but there wasn’t a, uh, um, just like, Oh, she’s, she’s doing this and doing this well. And then when I met you, I was like, Oh my gosh, it reminds me just how collaborative this

[00:02:37] Lindsay Boccardo: industry can be. That’s right. Well, I think you bring up a good point because speaking, sharing your message is so vulnerable.

There is a reason that most people, this is their top fear, over snakes. Over a snake, you don’t want to be on stage? I’ll go on stage any day, you know? Oh, yeah. [00:03:00] Because it’s so vulnerable, there’s, I think there’s always a little part of us that’s trying to protect us and trying to create, um, you know, this idea in our mind that we’re the only one and if we’re on top and if we’re doing it and we’re the only ones doing it, then that’s how we stay safe.

And the best way to stay safe and to feel safe in your body is to connect with other speakers and have a community. That’s where you actually, it’s a little secret part of you that doesn’t know. You know, because it’s such a vulnerable action, we have an equally big reaction when things don’t go well. So you’re risking it all, you’re putting yourself out there every day, Jess.

And when these things happen, it’s like when you meet somebody who You know, you see from the outside, it’s easy for that part to come in and stay, like, stay away, stay away, this person’s gonna try to take, you know, and to feel threatened. That’s totally normal. And I know you on social media. I was on your texting threads for like the last year.

Yeah! Oh

[00:03:55] Jess Ekstrom: my gosh,

[00:03:57] Lindsay Boccardo: that is crazy. Yeah. She was like, you, um, [00:04:00] should really get to know this person named Jess Eckstrom. And I was like, it’s Jess this whole time. Great. Connect me. So you never know what’s going on in somebody else’s life and where they’ve seen you. And you know, I found some of my best friends in the speaking world and I want to get, I love being at the point.

And I see this with you too, where when I’m not the best fit, or for some reason I think somebody else is better to wholeheartedly with full integration. Share. This is the beauty of this work.

[00:04:28] Jess Ekstrom: That, and that is, I mean, and this is like a funny kind of compliment that I get sometimes with Mic Drop Workshop.

There’s like students that enroll in the course and they’re like, I didn’t even take the course. I jumped straight into the community because the community is for women speakers who are taking the course and I’m like, Thank you for the feed, so you didn’t do the, the, the months and months and weeks of like training that I built, but jumped right into the community, which is awesome.

But it goes to show [00:05:00] how important it is. Um, and I think, especially for women who in this space, like it’s really tough. Um, and someone like yourself who you came out, you were in the, um, uh, church, like world, Yes. Can you talk to us a little bit about your story? Because I mean, I’m sure that there’s even more than meets the eye than what people are seeing today.

[00:05:23] Lindsay Boccardo: Yeah. I mean,

VO: Today’s guest is someone I feel very lucky to know. For the past 11 years, Lindsay Boccardo has been traveling the country speaking to and working with organizations who are ready to maximize the talent of multiple generations in their workforce. I’ve seen her speak before, and the energy is phenomenal, but her back story might be even better…

I went into full time ministry out of college. I got a degree in psychology and public communications, so I’ve always loved it. Yeah. And I was going to go and translate that into full time ministry. And I did for several years. And there was a couple different moments when I was in ministry where, you know, one time I was pulled aside by HR and I was told like, Hey Lindsay, there’s a rumor that you might be gay.

And I was like, uh, how dare They obviously know I what, where, how, oh

[00:05:56] Jess Ekstrom: my gosh. The odd,

[00:05:58] Lindsay Boccardo: yeah. Yeah. In my little, [00:06:00] my young career right outta college that. Ooh, this is going to cost me a lot. And so I buried it, married a guy, tried to do that for a while. Newsflash, it doesn’t work. I literally remember walking down the aisle with my flowers.

Like, I’m not gay. I’m not gay. Everybody, move around because I’m not gay. He’s a man. I’m a woman. So then five years later, we got a divorce. And, uh, and in that time I was going to coaching school. So coaching school was kind of unraveling my perspective of reality of what’s possible. It was kind of getting into my psyche in the best way.

It basically won my freedom for me. And after that moment, and after I went through that divorce, I realized, wait a second, What’s I’m saying? I could just build my life. I could build it. I don’t have to keep everything I already have and be worried that it’s never going to come back. And I don’t, I don’t have to pretend anymore.

What if I just really go out and do it? [00:07:00] And I had been speaking a little bit, I have a ton of speaking background because I was in ministry, but I took all of that, took my research on generations at work, brought in coaching skills that were applicable in the office. And creating a speaking business around these concepts.

And so, you know, that’s how I began my business. That was a decade ago. We’ve grown 30 to 40 percent every year, which is super exciting, except the COVID year. We broke even, but I’ll take it. Yeah, that’s great. Yeah. And that’s just one measure of success. I think a bigger measure of success is my happiness and You know, my freedom.

So your

[00:07:37] Jess Ekstrom: autonomy

[00:07:38] Lindsay Boccardo: over

[00:07:38] Jess Ekstrom: it all. And Erin in the comments said she’s coming from the same church background. I’ve heard. Yeah, but well, okay. So you realize, okay, I can start over. I can design the life that I want. And speaking is a part of that. What’s your step one? Because I know that my. Step one, uh, didn’t work out so [00:08:00] well.

I was just like, let me just email the crap out of any one that I think might bring in a speaker. And I had no idea what my value was, what my, why they needed to bring me to speak. I just knew that I wanted to get up on stages and start sharing this story. And uh, I emailed so many universities cause that’s where I was speaking at the time that Gmail like froze my account.

They were like, You’re done. You’re banned. And that was my moment where I had to reevaluate. I was like, what is a better strategy? And it, it took, you know, this gig where I completely just, I stopped acting like what I thought a speaker should be, which I was like, you know, trying to step into that like Ted stage style and, you know, do all the things, share my credentials.

And I finally was like, you know what? Here is the real story. Here are the times that I royally messed up and here’s how you can avoid doing that. And so [00:09:00] when I made it less about me, more about them, I then learned what my true value was. When I speak in front of people at the time, it was speaking to college students because I was a recent graduate and had started my company in college.

That transformation promise that we call it Mic Drop Workshop has evolved over time, but it, it, it took kissing some frogs before I figured out what You know, where my quote unquote prince was. And I’m curious what your, what your frogs were in the beginning. Or if you had any, Oh yeah, I got some

[00:09:29] Lindsay Boccardo: frogs.

Well, I’ll tell you besides marrying a man. Yeah. Besides going through that. Oh, I’m happily married to a woman. Just that saying it all worked out, created the life I wanted. So I will say that the piece about confidence is so interesting because when I was in coaching school, I learned a new way to look at confidence that I thought I would share with all of us.

Today, please. Confidence is okay. Confidence in the coaching world is directly [00:10:00] related to how sure you are that you’ll get this the outcome that you want. So it could be like how confident are you driving to the grocery store? You know how confident is the average per, you might say, oh my gosh, lens any day of the week, a hundred percent confident I’m gonna arrive.

Why? Because you’ve done it thousands of times. There is no question. Now, remember though, when you were 16 years old and you were trying to turn and press the gas and the brake at the right time, and how difficult that was to do, just, are you confident you can turn a corner? No. Look how much you’ve grown.

And it’s simply because of exposure and pressure to accomplish this. And now it’s like, I can go to the grocery, I can go to any grocery store in the world. I can drive there. It’s fine. No big deal. I think of confidence that way with speaking. So sometimes we do outside in like. Transformation and sometimes it’s helpful to be like power stance.

I have this I can do this I am worth being on stage. [00:11:00] I’m worth being listened to it’s worth doing that those the mental work And then there’s also just getting in there And trying and practicing driving to the store a million times. And I found speaking to be the same way. I happen to have this background in speaking.

So my skillset was a little more evolved, which was helpful. But when I started out, I did exactly what you said. I thought, how can I be of service? What can I genuinely give? that I’m sure of, that I’m sure if people are there, they will get the result. So I started going to these little coaching groups.

They have all different names around the country, but there’s probably like a executive coaching group in your city where they meet like every month. And sometimes they look for a special speaker. Okay. Now they might be meeting in the side room of a restaurant and there’s 10 of them and they’re eating like wings and drinking soda while they listen.

That still is a starting point. And that’s where I started. I just like, who can I be to serve? Oh, there’s [00:12:00] 10 businessmen who want to learn about millennials at work. I can go there and just talk through this sheet and tell them the four factors of employee engagement. I can do that. And then I did that and I’m like, Oh, Well, I could definitely do it again now that I’ve done that.

And I just stacked, stacked exposure over and over. I also think about it, like going to the gym. If you said tomorrow, Lindsay, I believe you can run a marathon. You can believe it too. I would make it one mile and my knee would be killing me. This is not happening, but yeah. But if I stacked and did like couch to 5k, Oh, couch to half marathon.

Now I’m going to run a marathon. I could build up to that. Yeah. But it’s time and exposure. And so there’s this myth. Yeah. There’s a myth when people see you, Jess, that somehow you met the fairy godmother who sprinkled. Magic dust on you that makes you so incredible and dynamic and successful, but it’s really all of those layers, all those exposures over and over again that make you who you are [00:13:00] today.

[00:13:00] Jess Ekstrom: Totally. And, and so much of what you were saying, I think back to like, a lot of us are, is our speakers and we don’t even know it yet. If you are speaking at work, if you are leading a family, If you are Like I used to teach fitness classes when I was in college and I just remember getting Like I would teach a spin class and that got really annoying.

I remembered getting so, um, enthralled by being able that I can say something and it’s going to impact their day. And so a lot of, and a lot of people in Mic Drop Workshop, they’re like, well, I don’t know if I can call myself a speaker yet because I haven’t been paid to speak or haven’t given a keynote.

Um, I’m a teacher and I’m like, speaking is speaking. And when you do that, you’re, you’re getting reps with that muscle. But I do want to say. Um, uh, something that I do want to hit on is, you know, those reps in the beginning. Might [00:14:00] not be that great. Oh. And sometimes, and I, I think, you know, we didn’t all step on stage as like Simon Sinek the first time we gave a talk.

No. Uh, so I’ll share mine if you share yours. Like what was a time that you felt like, okay, that wasn’t my best. It didn’t go well. Uh, nose goes, you go first. Yeah.

[00:14:22] Lindsay Boccardo: Oh, dang it. Okay. This is so silly, but because I speak about generations at work. I had done all of this research and I like lived in it. Like Boomer history, Gen X history, millennial history.

Gen Z’s were just like being born and they were in elementary school. And I was in it so much. And I got up in front of a group of people. It was a D for me at the time. It was decent. It was like 30 people. And I made a comment about how boomers went to World War II. Y’all, they were born after World War II.

But in my mind I had said, I had said Vietnam, but that’s not what came out of my mouth. And I’m standing there as [00:15:00] a generational expert, and I just missed something that like, the average person knows the answer to. And somebody correct, they raised their hand, they’re like, I’m so sorry. Did you see the Boomers participated in World War II?

And I was like, yes, I did. And this was the time, like you were saying, how you’re still trying to look perfect, knowledgeable, untouchable. And it bit me in the butt because the rest of the time. I was trying to go through my slide deck and my brain was in fight or flight mode and I was stressed and embarrassed.

Totally derailed you. Yeah. And something like, I did, I just said that didn’t I’m so, y’all, I was so excited to be here. I misspoke. Bill, you’re right. You know, I couldn’t even gather myself to just move along and make a simple

[00:15:50] Jess Ekstrom: mistake. Practice the flub. That’s what I like to tell people when we’re doing any sort of speaker training is like, they’re like, hold on, I messed up that part.

Let me go back. Nope. [00:16:00] What would you do in the moment if you said this or forgot a line? Because that is speaking. I don’t think I, I’ve done hundreds of talks and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten off stage and said, you know what? I said exactly what I needed to say when I wanted to say it. No matter how many times you do it.

Yes, that’s exactly right. And so I think that knowing that being imperfect, messing up is all part of the process. And like you said, Lindsay, it’s how you stylize it. When you’re on stage, is it comedy? What do you lean to? Uh, I’ll say one more thing on this and I’ll tell you my, my flub, but, uh, I’m taking, um, standup classes right now, which is a whole, uh, new experience.

Um, I just started to do it to see if I could, it could help with some of my speaking and my like humor and timing, but I’ve just totally gotten the bug for it. And I have my first. First show on Thursday, which I’m very excited about. But on one of the [00:17:00] first classes, the instructor said, you know, what are you afraid of with standup?

And so everyone had something different and they would raise their hand. Like, ah, what if there’s hecklers? What if I forget what I’m going to say? What if I say something and no one laughs? It’s like, great. Write about it. So whatever the thing is that you’re afraid of, of what could go wrong, write what you would do and how you would react in that moment.

Because then when you have a plan, you’re like, okay, what if someone in the middle of my talk is like, this is horseshit, or like, whatever it is, what would I do? I mean, that probably won’t happen, luckily, but what would I do in that moment? And then when you almost have something in your back pocket, then, It gives you that sense of calm and that peace of when something is thrown at you.

You’re like, Hey, this is what it is. Like I used to speak when I was just getting started. Um, when I was like way back in the day, uh, I spoke at a lot [00:18:00] of sororities and Like phones would go off, like alarms all the time, and when an alarm would go off, I would get really frazzled, like, oh, there’s a sound in the audience.

And then I realized that I could turn it into a joke and say, oh, time to take your birth control. Like anytime the phone would go off and it would, it would crush. And so once you learn how to respond and pivot in those moments, um, it makes those things seem less scary. But my flub, uh, was, And, um, I got asked to speak at this college conference and it was a really big opportunity because there was like other colleges in the audience that could potentially book me to speak.

And they said, can you talk about millennials and technology? Which I was not like you. I was not a generational expert. Uh, I was speaking about, you know, optimism and headbands, Pope. And I was, but of course, in the beginning, you’re like, absolutely. I can talk about millennials [00:19:00] and technology. It’s the thing that I do.

Whereas today it’s like. No, this is the thing I do. And this is the thing that I do well. But at the time you’re like, of course. And so I rewrote this whole talk that was just not, um, didn’t have me in it anywhere, uh, because I was trying to fit this audience and that was, it didn’t go well. Uh, I mean, I, in my eyes, it didn’t go well.

I think, you know, we are always our worst critic, but it also taught me at the end it was like. It is okay to say, this is what I do and this is what I do well. And if it’s not what you’re looking for, let me find a speaker who does that thing. That’s right. Um, which is a turning point because there’s a scarcity mindset of like when you’re asked to speak, what if someone doesn’t ask again?

And you’re like, no, if you stick to what you do, then those people will find you. Have you had that same experience?

[00:19:57] Lindsay Boccardo: Absolutely. It is [00:20:00] counterintuitive to say, I only speak about XYZ. This is my brand. This is my, you know, my little wheelhouse. It’s counterintuitive, and yet it’s the only way people’s brains will remember you.

If it’s like, Lindsay can speak about anything at any time for anything. You’re not going to hire that person. They’re not even in your mind. They’re not even positioned as an expert. I always use this example. It’s so dumb, but I was like, if you had a racehorse that needed new little race horseshoes, horseshoes put on his feet.

Would you go to like the generalist? Like the person that, the blacksmith who can do some horseshoes? He can also make other things. Or would you go to the race horse, horseshoe specialist? Farrer. You know, you would go to them and their price might be 3x. Yeah, but their price is more expensive, Jess. But it’s like, yeah, but I know that this will be done right.

And I know that this person understands this [00:21:00] dynamic of how race horseshoes need to be put on. Even if they could both do the same exact job, it’s our brain feels safer with the expert.

[00:21:08] Jess Ekstrom: Well, think about women’s shampoos. Like men have one soap that they’re like, this is shampoo. This is, yeah, like your body wash.

This is your conditioner and you can drink it for all three meals. It is like one thing that serves all this purpose. But for women, you go down the shampoo aisle at CVS or Target. And it is every single bottle is scratching a different itch for someone. And the goal is for you to say like, no, I don’t need, you know, a curly texture.

Cause I don’t have curly hair, but you get to that bottle that says this is for people with straight hair and it will make your hair this you’re like, that is me. That is the thing that I need. And so you want, Event planners or whoever’s booking you to have that same feeling on the shampoo aisle [00:22:00] of like, Oh, this is the person who is for, is solving this problem.

And when I see a mistake, I wouldn’t call it a mistake, but like a missed opportunity that speakers make is on their website. They list a bunch of topics that are like one word. Leadership. I speak on leadership. I speak on confidence. I speak on culture. And it’s like, you know, I call that being a Cheesecake Factory speaker.

I’m like, No one wants to go somewhere where you can order like a sushi, burritos, and like, you know, fettuccine alfredo at the same restaurant. What’s the thing that you do well? And that comes in the form of like one, maybe two signature talks. And when you’ve been in the business, like as long as we have, that might be three or four talks that you’re like, have gotten some reps in.

But don’t be afraid to pick a lane and say, this is my chef special. This is what I do and what I do really well. That’s it. That’s exactly right. So if I was just getting started, or for [00:23:00] anyone in the comments or who’s listening who is just getting started as a speaker, um, like first let’s maybe talk about the mindset before we talk about like where to find gigs and what opportunities, because I think it starts with Uh, just a belief that you have something to say.

Um, and that can be tough to do. What advice do you have on just the mindset of around being a speaker?

[00:23:26] Lindsay Boccardo: Oh, that’s so good. One of the things that I always look for in a speaker is, are they coming on stage, Nourished and ready to give. Are they coming on stage asking the audience to give them something?

And no one is clear, like, we all have a little ego in it. Okay, like, I understand that part. I understand, I like when people laugh when I speak. Like, that makes me feel good, that’s true. And, it’s the mindset of, am I first [00:24:00] in a place? In my own life where I have the attention, the nourishment, my needs met.

Because if you go on stage empty, asking the audience to take care of you, it will not turn out well. Audiences are not there to take care of you. You are there to serve them and to guide them. Imagine you and I are going to the Grand Canyon later today. Cause I just love the Grand Canyon. And I told you, I knew how to hike it.

And then when we get there, I’m like, so Jess, should we go down? I’m a little scared. This is, whoa, this is higher than I thought. Should we start there? Or, I don’t know, do you think this is a good idea? Like how much would you, and all of a sudden we, you wouldn’t want to be there with me, you know? And you know what I’m saying?

And speakers do this, where we Absolutely. We come out and one of the number one things that everybody has to break the habit of is this coming on stage going like this What’s up, Indianapolis? How we all doing tonight? I can’t hear you. Oh my gosh the [00:25:00] let’s try that again What are you stop? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, please.

Here’s why You’re asking the audience to deliver something to you. Self serve. Yes. Help me feel good about being here. Clap for, like, give me some shouts. That’s not in service to the audience. That’s in service to you. There’s ways to engage the audience later. Like, raise your hand if you’ve gone through something difficult in life.

That’s so the audience sees everyone else. Not so you go, see, I knew something. Everyone’s been through something difficult. So it’s really like, am I in a place? And the best way to try this is in little ways, not under a lot of stress, but a little stress. Am I able to show up and serve and to give and to, you know, fumble through, make mistakes, not to appear perfect, that takes a lot of reps to get there, but that’s one piece when I meet new speakers, it’s like, what do you want?

to encourage people about, give them a structure to think through that may help them and [00:26:00] free them in a different way. Give them a story that inspires them and helps them not feel so alone. What do you want to create in that audience? What are you giving to them as a gift? So I give clarity and levity.

That’s what I’m giving when I go to an audience. Clarity on what is going on in my life or what is going on in my business. What’s the deal with these Gen Z’s? Clarity. Levity along the way because life is not that serious. So, you know, I’m a speaker. I’m not a neurosurgeon. It’s going to be okay. So that’s my job.

And it’s important to get very clear on why you want to do this because it will not The audience does not give back in the ways that you expect. Totally.

[00:26:41] Jess Ekstrom: Oh my gosh. I want to package that up and replay it anytime I’m about to go on stage because the sooner you realize speaking is not about you and it’s about them, the better speaker you’ll become and it’ll be more fun because when the pressure is [00:27:00] off being this perfect human, uh, then your real authentic style of speaking comes out.

And so a couple ways, I don’t know about you, but, um, for me, the tone is set In like the first 30 seconds, you know, and not just the, not just the tone for the audience, but the tone for myself. And I feel that when you go out there and you’re like, you know, what’s up Indianapolis? Or if you’re like, Oh, I just want to thank Lisa so much for bringing me or like, Hey, how’s that salmon you guys have on your plate?

It’s like that 30 seconds is being wasted on just like dead air. Yes. And I always tell, uh, uh, speakers and mic droppers, it is so uncomfortable the first time you do it, but I promise you it works. When you step up there, first of all, don’t talk as you’re coming up on stage. Like people get [00:28:00] really, uh.

Thank you. Yes, exactly. Again, it’s, it’s tone setting. It’s just like a nervous energy. Be okay with the applause coming up, waiting till you are standing dead center in the stage. Take that first step. I like to call it a start button, like step, speak, right into a story. And that story should be Why are we here?

Like, what was a time that I was a student of the message I’m about to teach you right now? And that is like, it breaks the ice for you because telling a story is easier than than telling a lesson first. And it also breaks the ice for the audience. And if someone’s on their phone, like, making their grocery list and Lindsay comes out there and she’s like, I remember where I was standing when I realized that I was gay.

Or I remember when I was walking down the aisle and realized, like, I would be like, hold up, wait, what? Which is why you’re such an amazing storyteller, because you take people to [00:29:00] that moment. And so if you’re like, thinking about, well, where would I even begin? begin with the story of why you got passionate about this topic in the first place.

And that

[00:29:11] Lindsay Boccardo: will take you so far. That’s exactly it. Well, and you know this from, you know, your stand up and time as a speaker that magic comes when you allow there to be tension. You need to be comfortable with the tension in the room. And I smile because one of my favorite parts of a talk is before anything has happened.

And now welcome to the stage, Lizzie Bocarno. And I’m just walking out, you know, maybe I’m waving, maybe I’m pulling a nice tattoo or whatever, you know, it all depends. I’m not talking at all, though, not saying a word, just like, you know, I’m going to come up and I’m going to look at everybody for a minute.

And they’re like, uh, and you can feel in, in the speaker’s mind, it’s been an hour. I’ve gone slow. For them, they’re [00:30:00] like, did I get that recipe? Hold on. They’re still getting ready to hear from you. And so giving yourself that beat, those moments, that first 30 seconds. tells the audience how to interact with you.

If I don’t joke around in the first 30 seconds, it’s kind of strange when I do 30 minutes in. I was like, wait, this was somber. Yeah. Who is she? Yeah. Yeah. You know, we’re joking. Like it’s kind of, so yes, I think that’s so smart. I think the other thing that, that you do so well in Mic Drop Workshop is thinking like breaking down the different pieces of what it means to be a speaker.

And even for individuals getting very clear on their education. We all need education. On how to perform, how to speak and how to write content. So that is just like being a speaker. Yeah. And then getting clear on this other piece of your business development. What do you want your business development to be?

You’re getting very clear on that piece when you’re starting up, you know, sometimes founders, CEOs are like, Linz, [00:31:00] I don’t want to speaking business. I just want to like be present in the community. And then the third piece is understanding your expertise or your message. And I think when, you know, all three.

My thought in the way that I’ve handled it, my philosophy is you bump each one up a little bit at a time. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So, Ooh, I’ve, my business needs like some attention. I need to get better with my CRM. I’m going to work, or I need to focus on marketing. I’m losing, you know, people coming to my website.

Okay. Or my stories are still so stale. I don’t like them. Okay. So let’s bump that just by one. You’re not going to be a 10 across the board in these three buckets overnight, but I see you do this all the time, Jess. You’re just like notching it, notching it, notching it, notching each one of those three areas.

That’s like what I would say to a new speaker.

[00:31:50] Jess Ekstrom: Oh my gosh. One, that is powerful advice. Two, amazing compliment. I just appreciate it so much. And one of the things I love about [00:32:00] us and the Like, I guess the culture of speaking is, you know, if someone books me to speak, they’re probably not going to book me again for another couple of years.

And so it’s no, you know, skin off my back to be like, actually you should bring Lindsay or you should bring some, this other, you know, amazing speaker. And so to be able to make each other better, not just with generating business, But showing like what we’re doing in our business is really helpful. Um, and I just really appreciate, uh, your friendship in that.

And that means a lot.

[00:32:36] Lindsay Boccardo: Yeah, that’s really. That’s what we’re doing. That’s how we’re all trying to grow a little bit every day. Um, so to

[00:32:42] Jess Ekstrom: close, let’s say, um, like a food for thought. Well, first of all, do you have a mantra that like before you speak or anything?

[00:32:52] Lindsay Boccardo: Oh, well, I have a whole little routine that I love.

[00:32:56] Jess Ekstrom: Let’s close with that. Tell us your routine. Yeah.

[00:32:59] Lindsay Boccardo: I can definitely share a [00:33:00] mantra too. Okay. Sometimes I’m speaking at seven in the morning. You know this, Jess. Sometimes you’re speaking at nine o’clock at night. Our circadian rhythm does not play along. Okay? Doesn’t care. Yeah. Doesn’t care. So, I try not to get, first thing, say it’s, I have a speaking event, a large speaking event on Sunday in Washington, D.

C. I am not going to get stressed about it on the Tuesday before the Sunday. So one of my mantras is, all’s I’m doing today, is talking to Jess, answering some emails, working on this presentation. I’m not speaking today. I can relax and I have to tell my body and my nervous system like this is not happening today.

Don’t waste days of nerves on something. You need the energy on Sunday. Don’t burn through it now. So that’s one thing that’s helped me a lot. And it is like a mantra, you know, it’s like, man, I’m feeling a lot of

[00:33:50] Jess Ekstrom: pressure,

[00:33:51] Lindsay Boccardo: a lot of stress. My

[00:33:52] Jess Ekstrom: husband’s like a planner and he’ll, it’ll be like Monday. He’ll be like, Oh, what time’s your flight on Thursday?

And I’m like, Nope, Nope. We’re not [00:34:00] doing this right now. Yep. Nope. We’re living today. Yeah.

[00:34:02] Lindsay Boccardo: Doesn’t matter. Delta Airlines.

[00:34:04] Jess Ekstrom: We’ll

[00:34:05] Lindsay Boccardo: figure it out. Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. And I’ve seen speakers who have very busy track records. They talk about this to like pace yourself, focus on today. So, um, that’s a mantra that I use a lot when I go, before I go on stage, I do singing warmups, you can find them all over Spotify.

there’s Tik Tok people that are famous for this, but working on my range. Oh my gosh. Because if I go on stage and I haven’t done that the chances of me using my range to make a point, it’s not going to happen. Whatever I’m going to use, I got to warm up. Um, some people do tongue twisters. I don’t know why I can’t I, Peter Piper.

Pick to pick up a couple of Peppers. I’m sure that does help as well. I tend to just, like Warm up my vocal cords and the range of my voice and make sure that my breath when we get stressed We tend to tense and only breathe from up [00:35:00] here. So really working on taking deep belly breaths And then before I go on, yes, and then before I go on, Adam Levine from Rune5 talks about this, but he says, before he goes on stage, he tells himself, everyone out there loves me.

Now, I just said a couple minutes ago that that might not be true, but there’s no harm in believing it, that you will be well received. So part of like walking up with confidence as I’m getting ready to go is believing like everybody out there loves me and supports me. Hey, because I don’t want to come on defensive, apologetic.

I need to come on and try to prove. Yeah, exactly. Because people can feel that chip on your shoulder or that tension. So like, am I open and warm and safe? And that’s how I know I’m ready to go open, warm, safe. If I am experiencing all of those, which are kind of like emotional, spiritual, kind of strange, they work for me.

So, those are like the two mantras, open, warm, safe, [00:36:00] and if it’s not the day of the talk, don’t waste your energy getting stressed about it. Oh my gosh, what

[00:36:05] Jess Ekstrom: a way to end, and the two things that I can really work on. I definitely waste, or think about, like, ruminate in something before it happens, so that is Amazing advice.

Um, Lindsay, where can people find you? Uh, I know right here on LinkedIn, so be sure to shoot Lindsay a follow. Anywhere else where we can engage with the brilliance that you’re putting out there.

[00:36:27] Lindsay Boccardo: Oh, that’s so thoughtful. I mean, LinkedIn is a great spot. You can always check out my website. Uh, just my name, lindsaybacardo.

com if you kind of want to see a lot of what Jess and I are talking about, you’ll see kind of playing out on my website. Um, but yeah, that’s it. If you have questions or you have a question about what we said today, you can always DM me. I’m on LinkedIn. Probably too much, honestly. Probably. Yeah. But I just, I’m so glad we got to do this.

You’re a rockstar and people are lucky to learn from you and build their confidence just [00:37:00] bit by bit. That’s how it works. And we’re lucky to have you in our community.

[00:37:04] Jess Ekstrom: Oh, I appreciate it. Well, thanks for being the first and thank you everyone for tuning in and we’ll do it again soon. Bye everyone. Sounds

[00:37:11] Lindsay Boccardo: great.

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