Facing Fears and Opening Up Onstage with Coach Kiah

Kiah Twisselman Burchett

Motivational Speaker, Emcee, and Life Coach

Kiah Twisselman Burchett, better known as Coach Kiah, is a California cattle rancher turned international motivational speaker on a mission to empower others to love themselves deeper, care for themselves better, and find joy in this messy, beautiful life journey.

After battling with her body image from a young age, she embarked on what started as her health journey but transformed into the mental healing and self-acceptance journey she needed all along. Her story has been shared in People Magazine, Good Morning America, the Kelly Clarkson Show, Women’s Health, and more, and she uses her struggles to give strength to others who are walking the same journey.

Named one of Cowgirl Magazine’s Top 30 Under 30, Coach Kiah uses her authentic vulnerability, witty humor, and infectious energy to show others how to overcome hardships and discover their inner vibrance to become the main characters in their own lives.

SHOW NOTES

Today, Jess and Coach Kiah Twisselman talk about embracing imperfections and projecting confidence on stage.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

The Power of Vulnerability: Coach Kiah shares her unique approach to speaking, which combines humor and deep emotional connection. Learn how her personal journey of healing has empowered her to connect with audiences on a profound level, making them feel seen and understood.

From Ranch Life to the Spotlight: Discover how Kiah transitioned from a successful weight loss journey to a vibrant speaking career, including her experiences on national platforms like Good Morning America and The Kelly Clarkson Show. She reflects on the pivotal moment that led her to fully embrace her role as a keynote speaker.

Navigating Confidence Onstage: Jess and Kiah discuss the fears and insecurities that often arise before stepping onto the stage. Kiah reveals her strategies for overcoming nerves and staying authentic, including a humorous anecdote about dealing with sweat on national television.

The Myth of Masculine Confidence: The conversation explores how traditional notions of confidence can be restrictive, especially for women. Kiah offers insight into finding and embracing a style that aligns with one’s true self rather than conforming to external expectations.

Finding Your Personal Style: Kiah talks about her journey to discovering a style that reflects her personality and makes her feel confident. She emphasizes the importance of wearing what makes you feel good and how it can enhance your presence on stage.

The Impact of Authenticity: Learn why Kiah believes that showing up as your true self—complete with your quirks and imperfections—is more powerful than trying to fit into a predefined mold. She shares how being authentic not only benefits you but also resonates deeply with your audience.

Quotes to Remember:

“I like to tell people that I want to bring you on an emotional journey with me. We are going to laugh. I’m like one part motivational comedian. And we’re also going to cry. Like we’re going to talk about the hard things.” – Coach Kiah

“It is the things that we generally feel most shame about that are the most healing for other people to hear.” – Coach Kiah

“Stop waiting to lose the weight to go and find your style. Stop waiting to lose weight to finally wear the swimsuit and get in the pool with your kids.” – Coach Kiah

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Coach Kiah Twisselman is a former cattle rancher turned motivational speaker and life coach.

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(00:05:16) “Embrace vulnerability to unleash your power.”
(00:09:04) “Facing fears in public speaking leads to empowerment.”
(00:12:06) “Confidence in speaking comes from embracing your style.”
(00:19:01) “Choose self-acceptance over societal beauty standards.”
(00:21:24) “Your speaker identity shapes thought leadership impact.”

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Rate Amplify on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Jess Ekstrom.

Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence, and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:02 – Kiah Twisselman

I like to tell people that I want to bring you on an emotional journey with me. We are going to laugh—I’m like one part motivational comedian—and we’re also going to cry. We’re going to talk about the hard things, but by the end of it, you’re going to feel this release that is unlike any other. And I think for me, it’s the vulnerability that makes people feel seen, understood, and less alone. There’s so much healing in that. But to be able to share it in a way that’s impactful, it took some of my own healing first.

00:00:33 – Jess Ekstrom

Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their head and into their zone of influence. Today, we are joined by Kaia Twisselman Burchett, also known as Coach Kaia. She’s a California cattle rancher turned life coach, motivational speaker, and emcee. I met Kaia at a speaking gig—in all places—the women’s bathroom, where, of course, all great connections happen. I’m so excited to have her on our show because, while she was making a name for herself on the speaking circuit, her life coaching and speaking career happened, honestly, by accident.

00:01:09 – Kiah Twisselman

I lost over 100 pounds in a year, and this was at a time when the media couldn’t go out and get stories. So, this woman who had this transformational story, who happened to capture and document the entire thing, who had this really cool message—it was just an easy sell for these PR agencies to pitch my story. So, I was in People magazine, Good Morning America, Kelly Clarkson, Access Hollywood, and it was just a huge snowball in the summer of 2020. Suddenly, I had this online platform, and at the time, I had my own business. I was doing freelance marketing and watercolor illustration of all things. I got to ask myself: Do I want to continue doing this marketing, or do I want to lean into the coaching space, which I had already done, kind of just behind the scenes? I had never advertised that I was a life coach; it was just work I was doing with women because I loved it so much. That’s what gave me the opportunity to pivot. But I’ll say, Jess, the time I really took myself seriously as a public speaker and motivational speaker was probably after The Kelly Clarkson Show. You mentioned I was on Kelly Clarkson in the spring of 2021, and they surprised me on air. We were taping with the author who had sparked my personal development journey, Rachel Hollis. I had read her book on an airplane the same day I had to ask for a seatbelt extender. It was just kind of divine timing, a message I needed to hear when I was finally ready to receive it. And they surprised me on The Kelly Clarkson Show with Rachel Hollis herself. I lost my mind! I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so cool!” Just to be able to meet the person who kind of sparked that and be able to thank them. When I met her backstage, she invited me to be a VIP guest at her speaking event that she had coming up. But once I met her backstage, out of the blue, spur of the moment, she said, “Wait a second, do you want to be a keynote speaker?” And it was a resounding “Yes” for me. I don’t think it was until then, when I got to be on a stage, that I felt like I had finally made it to the big leagues. I had the big LED screen behind me, the Britney Spears microphone, professional cameras, and I thought, “Oh my gosh.” First of all, I love this. It feels so easy—not easy as in a simple career, but it felt so natural to me. That’s when I decided to go all-in on the speaking. The message I speak into women—and also broader audiences—is to really learn how to heal our relationships with our bodies from the inside out. This mental and emotional transformation. I don’t really care if women change their bodies or lose weight—that’s the message we’ve received forever since we were little girls. I did the thing, I lost the weight, and when I got to the peak of the mountain, when I accomplished the dream, I realized, “Oh, weight loss is not the answer to learning to love and accept your body.” It actually has very little to do with your body. That is an internal journey, and that’s the journey I like to take people on now when I get on stage.

00:04:10 – Jess Ekstrom

I remember so vividly when I met you in the bathroom after we were both speaking at the conference, and you were also emceeing, which I think is super impressive. That is not a skill set I feel like I have. I remember you telling the story about being on the airplane and asking for the seatbelt extender, and it was such a memorable moment. I’ve seen so many speakers, and that was a moment that was just imprinted in me, the way you told it. But it probably took you some time to be able to share some of your most vulnerable moments for the greater good of others on stage. Was that a challenge for you? How do you go about being so generous in what you share and how deep you go in the service of others? I’m curious—what has that been like for you, the depth you’re willing to go for other people?

00:05:16 – Kiah Twisselman

Well, first, thank you for that. It’s my goal always to be authentic and vulnerable with my community. But what I will say is, I think in order for us to be able to share a vulnerable message in a way that resonates and deeply impacts others, we need to have gone through it and also gone through the healing part of it as well. I think being vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for me, it’s about giving myself space to experience my hard things and navigate through them internally—really work through the emotions of what I’m feeling—so I can understand how to overcome that before I start sharing it with other people. You know, it does take some courage to be vulnerable. I know Brené Brown always talks about how she has vulnerability hangovers after she dumps all the things she’s going through. But what I’ve discovered as a speaker is that the things we generally feel the most shame about are the things that are the most healing for other people to hear. My message has changed quite a bit since last time you heard me speak, Jess. I like to tell people that I want to bring you on an emotional journey with me. We’re going to laugh—I’m like one part motivational comedian—and we’re also going to cry. We’re going to talk about the hard things, but by the end of it, you’re going to feel this release that is unlike any other. And I think for me, it’s the vulnerability that makes people feel seen, understood, and less alone. And there is so much healing that can happen from that place. But to share it in a way that’s impactful, it took some of my own healing first.

00:07:01 – Jess Ekstrom

Yeah, we talk about that a lot in Mic Drop Workshop. You have to be able to share the experience when it’s in your rearview mirror, not when it’s still in the driver or passenger seat. A lot of times, the best parts of our talks can come from some of our moments that are hardest to share or revisit. Some of the things I talked about today have taken me like twelve years to be able to finally sift through, figure out how I feel about them now, and what the greater message is for the audience. But I do want to talk about something else—of course, we only work with women at Mic Drop Workshop—and so much of the verbiage around confidence is masculine. You know, things like “deepen your voice,” “stand big and tall,” and “take up space.” And of course, there’s a time and place for some of those things. But I think the message that sends is that powerful leadership is masculine, and therefore, women have to edit themselves in order to be seen as confident, powerful leaders. Countless studies and examples show that women, in sometimes our most feminine tendencies, have great leadership qualities. But if we’re told that those aren’t leadership qualities, then that’s going to lead to not feeling confident. So how do you work with people to be confident? Let’s start physically, standing on stage. That is a vulnerable spot to be in—literally, a spotlight. Everyone’s looking at you, and if you have any doubts about yourself, your body, your clothes, that’s the time where it will come to the surface. What advice do you have for that?

00:09:04 – Kiah Twisselman

This is so good because you’re right—just standing on stage, whether you open your mouth or not, is a very vulnerable thing for a lot of people. Public speaking is one of the top fears. People often assume I’m 100% confident on stage all the time. And yes, I am really confident on stage now. However, do I still get nervous? Yes. As you mentioned earlier, a lot of our nerves before we get on stage come from that place of ego, right? It’s like, “Am I going to say the wrong thing? Am I going to trip and fall? Am I going to look like a fool? Am I going to sweat through my shirt?” What I’ve found helpful is to just say, “Yes, all those things might happen, and I’m going to use them to serve my audience even better.”

I had this moment on The Kelly Clarkson Show—I was sitting backstage, wearing this bright pink dress, and we actually talked about this, Jess. I always sweat, especially in my right armpit. My right armpit sweats way more than my left.

00:10:02 – Jess Ekstrom

You have that in common. I forgot you’re one of the…

00:10:06 – Kiah Twisselman

I’m one of the right armpit people! I’m probably sweating through my dress right now—right armpit specifically. And I was sitting backstage before The Kelly Clarkson Show, and I was pitting out something fierce. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I’m about to go on national television as a sweaty, sweaty bish.” And I thought, “What now?” In that moment, I realized, “Yeah, I might be really sweaty on stage, but I’m going to make other sweaty women in the audience feel so much less alone.” If I can do it confidently without apology or shame, it feels empowering. Now I think, “Yeah, if I fall, amazing. If I have sweaty pits, awesome.” Because I’m human. If I can show up confidently despite those “embarrassing” things, it empowers the people in the room. So if the worst happens, amazing. How are we going to use it moving forward?

But in terms of showing up confidently on stage, I love that you brought up the masculine traits and the idea of how we’re “supposed” to act or dress. As a speaker, the most important thing is to show up in a way that makes you feel really confident. I used to get on stage with heels, dark denim jeans, and a blazer because that’s what I thought made me look strong and powerful.

00:12:04 – Jess Ekstrom

You were supposed to, yeah.

00:12:06 – Kiah Twisselman

But honestly, Jess, these hips have a really hard time finding jeans that actually like my body, and blazers feel stifling to me. So I thought, “What am I doing? Who am I trying to emulate here?” The only person I need to show up as is myself. Now, when you see me on stage, I’m most likely wearing a long, flowy print dress that’s bright, bold, and a little ridiculous. I’ll have biker shorts underneath because they’re comfortable, and I’ll probably wear tennis shoes or maybe some little cowgirl boots because I love embracing my cowgirl spirit. That way, I’ve already removed one of the barriers to distraction, which is, “Oh my gosh, do I look ridiculous?” No, I feel great in my skin and my clothes, and that already removes one of the barriers.

Also, I believe your fashion and what you wear are extensions of your personality and brand as a speaker. Honing my style and finding what makes me feel good has made me show up better on stage, and I think it resonates with my audience because my energy matches what they see.

00:13:35 – Jess Ekstrom

Do you ever consider, and this is a question I get—do you ever consider who you’re speaking to and wonder, “Will they accept this floral-printed, puffy-sleeved cowgirl boots person?” Does that even cross your mind before you go somewhere?

00:14:09 – Kiah Twisselman

At the beginning of my speaking career, it might have, but not anymore.

00:14:14 – Jess Ekstrom

Yeah, I feel the same way.

00:14:18 – Kiah Twisselman

We were talking about this in Mic Drop Academy the other night. Some speakers step into a role or persona when they go on stage, and then take it off when they step off stage. That seems exhausting to me.

00:14:54 – Jess Ekstrom

Yeah.

00:14:55 – Kiah Twisselman

One of the greatest compliments I receive is when people say, “You’re exactly the same person on stage, online, and in the lobby.” I used to be more performative, thinking, “Who do I need to be in this room to be seen as successful?” What I’ve realized is that I’m the most powerful when I embrace who I am and allow that to flow through me. If someone hires me as a speaker, they’re hiring me for my message, but also for my energy and passion. I’m a whole brand—Coach Kaia is a brand. What you see is what you get. You’re going to get someone who might make poop jokes—I will most likely make poop jokes. The only time I edit myself is with language if there are children in the room or if I’m in a very professional setting. But I don’t edit my outfits. It’s important to understand the audience you’re speaking to, but I won’t change my energy or vibe.

00:17:01 – Jess Ekstrom

Can we talk about finding your style? That’s something I’ve struggled with. I feel like I’ve been more of a style chameleon, and especially with pregnancy and motherhood, I’m having trouble figuring out where I’m landing. How did you navigate finding your style?

00:18:06 – Kiah Twisselman

I love this question! Solidarity to all the women out there who struggle with this. I think most women do. It’s important to be kind to ourselves as our bodies change and ebb and flow. We’re ever-changing beings—whether you gain weight, lose weight, or age. Our society has always been obsessed with seeing our bodies as problems to be fixed.

00:18:50 – Jess Ekstrom

A whole industry would crash if we didn’t believe that!

00:18:52 – Kiah Twisselman

It’s a massive, multi-billion dollar industry. And it’s gotten so big because none of it works, so people keep coming back.

00:18:59 – Jess Ekstrom

That’s so true.

00:19:01 – Kiah Twisselman

I could go on, but I won’t today. We’ve been taught to believe our bodies are problems to be solved. Your body is your body—do what you want with it. But recognize how hyper-obsessed our culture is with body image. We spend so much time and energy obsessing over how we look, and it distracts women from stepping into who they are. If I could snap my fingers and make women stop thinking about their bodies for a day, imagine what we’d accomplish!

00:19:56 – Jess Ekstrom

The mental capacity we’d have!

00:19:58 – Kiah Twisselman

Exactly! I used to be seen as a weight loss coach because of my transformation. Now, I tell women the only weight I want them to lose is the “waiting”—the waiting they’ve been doing to live fully. Stop waiting to lose weight to wear the swimsuit, go on the date, or take the trip. That’s the only weight I care about. Stop waiting to look a certain way before you claim your space on stage and share your story. Our bodies hold so many of us back from what we want to do.

00:20:47 – Jess Ekstrom

Yes, 100%.

00:20:48 – Kiah Twisselman

That’s the weight I want women to lose—the waiting. It’s bullshit. Sorry, I didn’t ask if I could say that!

00:20:56 – Jess Ekstrom

You absolutely can! Bullshit warranted.

00:21:03 – Kiah Twisselman

Good! That’s the weight I want women to lose—stop waiting to live fully.

00:21:24 – Jess Ekstrom

If you had one piece of advice for a woman just starting her thought leadership journey, what would it be?

00:21:30 – Kiah Twisselman

My advice: introduce yourself as a speaker. The way you become a speaker is by saying you’re a speaker. We think we need to earn the title, but we need to embrace the identity to show up as it. That’s how I became a speaker—I said, “Hi, I’m Kaia, and I’m a speaker.” And that’s how opportunities came my way. If you’re sitting in your room right now, say, “I am a speaker,” and see how it feels.

00:22:19 – Jess Ekstrom

Exactly! People can’t book you to speak if they don’t know you’re a speaker. Kaia, you are amazing. One of my favorite follows on Instagram. Where can people find you and book you to speak or emcee?

00:22:44 – Kiah Twisselman

Oh my gosh, side note—emceeing is one of my favorite things ever! I love being an emcee because, let’s face it, nobody wants to go to a boring conference. I’m really good at improv, and my energy is my currency. So if you’re looking for an energetic emcee who might make a poop joke, I’m your girl! You can find me at coachkiah.com. That’s coachkiah.com. If you do a forward slash “speaking,” you can see my speaker page and request to book me there. I’m also on Instagram. My favorite place to hang out is there, so let’s connect!

00:23:33 – Jess Ekstrom

Kaih, you’re the best. Thank you so much! We’ll talk soon.

00:23:36 – Kiah Twisselman

Thanks, Jess.

00:23:41 – Jess Ekstrom

Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you are a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review, and give us a follow at @micdropworkshop and @jessekstrom. This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence, and I’m Jess Ekstrom, your host. Remember, you deserve the biggest stage, so let’s find out how to get you there. See you again soon.