Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their head and into their zone of influence. Happy Monday, everyone! Here’s some food for thought to start your week.

Sure, our brain reacts when we’re getting chased by a lion or when we get an email that didn’t use any exclamation points, but that’s probably not why you’re here. One of the biggest obstacles I have with my brain is what I call the “wanting mind.” I don’t think I coined this term; I think it came from somewhere.

The wanting mind is never satisfied. It’s always asking, “What’s next?” It’s like the kid in the backseat asking, “Are we there yet?” The wanting mind does not allow us to be where we are because we’re always grasping for elsewhere. Even when we get what we want, then we want something more or different because we’ve created a habit of wanting.

Just like you can form a habit of eating a little sweet treat after dinner—my day is not complete without chocolate—or a habit of always listening to a podcast on your morning walk, your brain can form a habit of always wanting more than what’s right in front of you. Just like any other habit is born.

Have you ever been eating a meal that is so good and then you’re sad in the middle of it because you don’t want it to end? Or maybe you’re watching a really good series or you’re in the middle of a book and you’re dreading it being over. That’s natural to not want something good to end, but it’s also your wanting mind talking. Because the reality is, you’d probably enjoy that dish of pasta more if you weren’t counting the noodles that are left and wondering when you’ll get it again.

It’s the same with our lives and our careers. It’s hard to enjoy it and feel fulfilled in the present while feeling like there are so many boxes left to be checked. But both can be true. You can be proud and fulfilled about where you are and also hold dreams and ambition towards the future.

One way I check myself on this is by asking the question, “Do you remember when you wanted what you currently have?” Do you remember when you wanted what you currently have? Maybe it’s something in your job. Maybe it’s something in your home. Maybe it’s something in your relationships. But just take a moment right now, even pause this, to remember when you wanted something that you currently have right now.

Because the wanting mind encourages us to breeze past any accomplishments and stay focused on what hasn’t been checked off yet. That is a recipe for burnout and disappointment. Trust me on this one. I have been there. Because remember, anxiety about the future and dwelling about the past all happen in the present. Our anxious mind can’t change the past, and our wanting mind can’t change the future. All we have is right now in this very moment.

So I’ll leave you with this: Both optimism and anxiety require us to think about something that hasn’t happened yet. So if we have the ability to worry about the future, it also means we have that same ability to imagine a better one.

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