Creating a Morning Routine That Works for You with Tiffany Lanier

Tiffany Lanier

Keynote Speaker, Change and Wellbeing Facilitator, 2X TEDx Speaker, and Creator of The Morning Shift

Tiffany is a dynamic keynote speaker and facilitator of personal growth, change, and well-being. 

As the Founder of Change is the Catalyst, she works with organizations to help their teams move through disruptive seasons of change and re-establish clarity, focus and resiliency by creating intentional (and one-of-a-kind) personal growth and wellbeing experiences. 

After surviving a life-threatening pregnancy, suffering postpartum depression, and juggling to build her business, Tiffany realized one of the biggest modern-day plagues is the lack of space we hold for ourselves during our transitional periods. She quickly discovered in order to be a great mother, partner, entrepreneur, leader—human, it was pertinent for her to own her shift and allow all her life changes to make room for new possibilities. Her intention to rediscover who she was and her purpose and embrace her next chapter led to personal and professional breakthroughs that have catapulted her life and career. 

Tiffany has helped thousands of leaders all over the world re-discover who they are, what they stand for, and what matters most so they can shift into the highest potential and possibilities.

When leaders in organizations like Capital One, United Way, Ford Fund and the U.S Small Business Association want to help their people navigate change they call on Tiffany to advance their wellbeing and growth.

SHOW NOTES

What’s your morning routine?

You’ve probably seen all the reels and TikToks that you need to meditate every morning, practice gratefulness, practice mindfulness, workout, time block your day, drink 100oz of water, fast, prioritize yourself, and read a few pages of your book.

And then reality sets in, and you’ve got to feed the baby, pack lunches, or take care of that client fire.

So what should you be doing to get your mind and body right to start your day?

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Tiffany Lanier is a Keynote Speaker, Facilitator on Change and Wellbeing, 2X TEDx Speaker, and Creator of The Morning Shift.

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Amplify with Jess is produced by Earfluence, and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Jess:
“20 to 30 minutes. So it’ll be quick and I’ll introduce you later. So don’t, we don’t need to do that. But I feel like we first got together on Clubhouse, which talk about like a hot and heavy season that just, you know, went away.”

[00:00:18] Tiffany:
“I know it was, it was, it was a little short-lived, but it was an awesome experience for that, like, stint of time. I think more people stayed on at least after I dipped out, but…”

[00:00:30] Jess:
“Right. I mean, I guess like it was just the perfect storm. Cause it was like peak pandemic. We were all dying for connection and it’s like, ‘let’s get on this app and just hear each other talk.’”

[00:00:41] Tiffany:
“Yeah, and I loved it because I had the little one at the time, and yeah, in the cooing stage. I was like, ‘This is perfect. I can just be here in the middle of all this internal and external chaos, and just kind of plug in for the moment.’”

[00:01:01] Jess:
“Well, one of the things that I’ve found—and this kind of ties back to the morning shift and the things that you do—is I feel like I went through a phase of overconsumption of other people’s words and thoughts, especially in the morning, when I wasn’t keeping enough time for my own. I am now trying to relearn how to sit with myself, especially in the morning before I digest other people’s words and information. You specialize in helping people make the most of their day by making the most of their mornings with the Morning Shift Co. First, how did this even come to be? Why did you realize, ‘Oh, mornings are where it’s at. I want to help people do this.’”

[00:01:50] Tiffany:
“Yeah. You know, it, it all stemmed out of a lot of personal change. Back in 2014—so, like a decade ago—I was pregnant with my first child, which is wild to think about. And a decade ago, right around this time, was when I launched my personal expert brand. That was the beginning of creating thought leadership for me. But what would come thereafter was really the result of a complicated pregnancy that I experienced that was life-threatening for both myself and my unborn child at the time.”

[00:02:30] Tiffany:
“And though I overcame those complications, what I wasn’t expecting was postpartum depression. That part I wasn’t anticipating at all while still building and growing my brand and business.”

VO:
“What’s your morning routine? You’ve probably seen all the Reels and TikToks telling you that you need to meditate every morning, practice gratefulness, practice mindfulness, workout, time-block your day, drink 100 ounces of water, fast, prioritize yourself, and read a few pages of your book. And then reality sets in: you’ve got to feed the baby or pack lunches or take care of that client fire. So what SHOULD you be doing?”

VO:
“Our guest today is Tiffany Lanier, who has a phenomenal TEDx talk called ‘The Power of One Morning Question.’ She’s a keynote speaker and facilitator on change and well-being, and she’s the founder of The Morning Shift. Tiffany’s mindset on morning routine all started when she was struggling with new motherhood and postpartum depression…”

[00:03:00] Tiffany:
“And it was a mentor of mine who said, ‘Um, you’ve gone through a lot in a really short period of time and you haven’t taken any time to actually sit with it, process it, and think about how you have changed personally. You’re a whole different person than you were a year ago, let alone yesterday, and you’re still trying to operate the same way. What do you do in the morning?’”

[00:03:30] Tiffany:
“I said, ‘Try to wake up and start the day. I am exhausted. I have a baby who’s up all through the night, and then I just get up and get to work.’ And she said, ‘Well, maybe you should start creating some space—some time for you to just be with everything.’”

[00:03:50] Tiffany:
“That’s when I started to dive deeper into meditation, spirituality, and just giving myself the space to be and consider all that has changed and all that I was processing.”

[00:04:01] Tiffany:
“So I went into this deep path of discovery, and that’s when I thought, ‘I want to take my mornings more seriously—not to just check off a mindfulness box, but to create space for who I am, where I am, at this particular time.’ Once I created that for myself, I went from feeling down and depleted to feeling like a whole human being again. And there was something in here. That’s what started The Morning Shift.”

[00:04:44] Jess:
“Yeah. And I, one of the, one, I have a very similar story of like realizing after having my child, like what am I, my morning started off with like fight or flight because it would start off with her waking up and I’m like, ‘bottle, this, that,’ you know, and I just felt like my nervous system was wrecked from how I started my day, just from like, ‘go, go, go, go.’”

[00:06:00] Jess:
“Here’s where I feel like I struggle or just wonder what the best path is. I know what’s good for me in the morning. Like I know that if I move my body, if I write, if I meditate, and kind of do some of the things that you read about on like the blogs or ‘How Millionaires Spend Their Morning’—yes, I know that it’s right. But then you’re also kind of saying, ‘Listen to yourself and what you’re doing.’ So, how do you strike that balance?”

[00:06:51] Tiffany:
“That’s such a good question. I did a TEDx talk last year called ‘The Power of One Morning Question.’ And so it’s literally how I start my day. The question is: What do I need today? That is the listening-to-your-body part.”

[00:07:30] Tiffany:
“If it’s sleep, I’m a big proponent of—if you need to go back to sleep, go back to sleep. Because working out, or doing all of these things just to check off a list, when you’re exhausted—if you are able to go back to sleep, choose sleep, because all of those things will actually work a lot better.”

[00:08:00] Tiffany:
“So, going into the discipline question: my word, or phrase, for this year is ‘joyful discipline.’ I’m trying to be more disciplined in different areas, but I didn’t want it to feel heavy and restrictive. So I’m like, ‘I need to infuse joy.’ These are things that I want to do, that I want to be more consistent with, so it needs to be joyful discipline.”

[00:08:59] Jess:
“I know, you’re prepping me. We’re like two months until number two comes, and I’m like, ‘Yeah, it’s happening all over again.’”

[00:09:05] Tiffany:
“Right. And then if you’re switching your career, or becoming an entrepreneur, like whatever it is, you have to acknowledge the reality of your situation and then move from there. When you can move into a path of allowing for some discovery, and maybe not rigidity, that’s important in that process. Then create rituals that can support that particular season. The routine comes thereafter. But I have like a whole process and framework.”

[00:10:01] Jess:
“What did you say—was it like a place of flexibility rather than rigidity? That’s what I feel like the season that I’m in. And it also kind of reminds me of when you talk about recognizing where you are—there’s stuff in your career and then stuff in personal life.”

[00:11:00] Jess:
“This is something that my husband and I are going through right now with having a one-year-old and about to have another. We’re going to have two under two. And I am terrified that our relationship is going to struggle. Like right now, we run a business together, so many of our conversations are around logistics of baby, business, and all that.”

[00:11:30] Jess:
“I was speaking at an event, and John Deloney was one of the other speakers. He’s this amazing relationship therapist. And he goes, ‘Or you could just realize that for the next three years, while you’re in this phase of young kids, your relationship is not going to be thriving. It’s not going to be sipping wine at sunset and writing poems to each other.’”

[00:12:00] Jess:
“And I feel like once we both had that realization, our relationship actually got better because we weren’t going through this laundry list of things that we had to do for each other. We were recognizing, ‘Yes, we’re in the season that we’re in, which is little kids, and it’s going to be hard. Let’s just accept it for what it is and give ourselves some grace throughout the process.’ Sometimes we’re going to be short with each other, and we’re going to figure it out. If it’s in the middle of the night, it doesn’t count. What if we just recognized the season for what it is?”

[00:12:25] Tiffany:
“Yeah. You know, it’s funny. I actually wrote in my LinkedIn newsletter this morning, it was called ‘You Should.’ But it was more motivational versus ‘You Should Always Do.’ And I was hesitant about doing that because I hate that ‘You should.’ But like you said, it’s acknowledging the reality of where you are.”

[00:13:00] Tiffany:
“And then what I like to say is starting to get curious about where you want to be in this particular season. Even with small children, it is chaos. I’m not one to sugarcoat having small kids. At least mine, I don’t know about everybody else’s, but I have a nine-year-old and a three-year-old, and it’s mostly pure chaos.”

[00:13:30] Tiffany:
“And we have to find the groove in all of it. It’s going to be awesome, exhilarating, frustrating, and stressful. All of those things are probably going to happen. That’s where making sure that there is time—time for you as individuals, both parents for yourselves, and time together—is essential.”

[00:14:00] Tiffany:
“This is where community comes in so big. In my TEDx talk, I mentioned that a lot of the focus when it comes to morning routines, rituals, and self-care is emphasized heavily on the ‘self’—what we can do. Yes, everything starts with us, but in reality, we need community. We need a village. We need people to help shape that.”

[00:14:30] Tiffany:
“When I was going through the postpartum depression and I was creating these new rituals and routines for myself, it was my mom who was there with me every morning, taking care of my child so that I could do that thing. I wasn’t this superwoman that was like ‘baby and also meditating and I can figure it out.’ Everyone thinks that there’s some magic pill.”

[00:15:00] Tiffany:
“The ‘pill’ is, hopefully, there is some level of community—whether it’s friends or family or people that you can call on. My big call in that talk was, ‘How can there be more? What other types of community can we have in our workplaces?’ When we’re experiencing these changes and we’re talking about the catalyzation and ignition of mornings, I want to expand what community looks like so that when we are experiencing these times of change, we are really supported.”

[00:15:36] Jess:
“Yeah. And I think that with community, when I was going through my postpartum depression or when I’m in a season of a lot of overwhelm or change, my reaction is to back off from people and not invite them in, even though I know it’s going to make me feel better by putting myself out there or making myself available.”

[00:16:00] Jess:
“The way that I was able to kind of—I mean, I got help with postpartum and got medication, and it was amazing. But I also signed myself up for standup comedy classes because I was like, ‘I need to involve myself with people and remind myself that life is not that serious. This is what I can do.’”

[00:16:30] Jess:
“But I wanted—one of the things that I think about with you is like being a thought leader and wanting to speak, write, or create—whatever it is that you want to do—requires a lot of your other needs to be met in order for you to have those thoughts and ideas. When I’m in an anxious season, like postpartum or whatever, I’m not thinking about, ‘Oh, this is a great quote,’ or ‘This is the meaning of life.’ I’m like, ‘Holy crap, I am so tired. I need sleep.’”

[00:17:00] Jess:
“I need sleep. I need food. I need sanity. And so it’s like your hierarchy of needs has to be met in order to be creative. I would love for you to speak to the thought leaders and the creatives that listen: How do we establish our day, or you refer to it as a culture of well-being, so that we can make the time and the space to create the words that we want to share with others?”

[00:17:30] Tiffany:
“Yeah. So, which is interesting. I’ve been in—I wouldn’t even say a deep pivot over the last couple of years. I was just in another season, right? Like, I thought that coming out of having child number one and going through postpartum and developing my mornings and creating thought leadership around that, I was like, ‘Well, with kid number two, I know all the things. I’m not human anymore. I can just do all the things.’”

[00:18:00] Tiffany:
“But having a child during the pandemic—that’s a wild card I was not expecting, both the pandemic and having a child during the pandemic. And then the burnout that I experienced coming off of a six-year high of being nonstop in my career, having the second child in a pandemic, and thinking, ‘I’m just going to take a couple of months off and get right back to it.’”

[00:18:30] Tiffany:
“And I found myself. I got right back to—I think this was right around our Clubhouse days. I was jumping into Clubhouse conversations, like, ‘Okay, I’m going to start my workshops again. I’m going to do all the things.’ But I had some other personal life things also happening at the same time. Coming out of that, I was like, ‘Actually, I think I need to take a step back. I need to take time off.’”

[00:19:00] Tiffany:
“And I could. That’s another conversation—not everyone has the ability to just take a year or so off. I could not do that with my first child, but I could do this at this particular time. I had to take a complete step back because I could not think. To be a thought leader, you have to think. You have to have ideas. And I could not think—my creativity was nonexistent. And in all honesty, I feel like it just came back like six months ago—just in the last few months.”

[00:19:30] Tiffany:
“What I realized, even with my two kids, is that it takes me almost two and a half years to feel like I’m in a space that makes sense. So, though I took a year off and then I got back into speaking, I feel like I’m just now getting my creative juices back to the point where my capacity level is higher. So, I can talk about what to do when you have low capacity versus when everything is firing off on all cylinders.”

[00:20:00] Tiffany:
“For the last couple of years, I really focused on what I can do. Like, what does that look like? It does not look like what I was doing pre-COVID. Back then, I had two podcasts, I was traveling, I was coaching, I was running workshops—I had the gamut. No wonder I was burned out. I was doing all of the things.”

[00:20:30] Tiffany:
“I realized that I could only do a couple of things. So my primary focus was getting my career back up and moving: focusing on speaking, getting those speaking gigs, not necessarily also engaging a full audience of people, just the audience that I was speaking in front of—that was my engagement. What I could do with them was the level of capacity that I had.”

[00:21:00] Tiffany:
“I started to do a monthly newsletter—not weekly, not daily—something that I could do that was high-value every single month. And I actually had people pay for it because I needed the revenue to be moving. And I wanted to really pour into the one thing at the one time. So, I had a paid newsletter for about a year, which actually really reshaped a lot of the work that I do right now.”

[00:21:30] Tiffany:
“I gave myself that space to do that and do it really well. I created the grace that was necessary, which I didn’t give myself some years ago when I was going through that postpartum time. So, I was very intentional about how I came back and the degree to which I could be of service.”

[00:22:00] Tiffany:
“I’ve said ‘no’ a lot. People would ask me for things, and I’d say no. Even now, people are still asking me for things. And I’m like, ‘Nope, I’m not in that season of grand partnership.’ Depending on what it is, I have to say no a lot. I was definitely not that ‘no’ person prior to this.”

[00:22:30] Tiffany:
“So, creating these types of boundaries for yourself—again, coming back to acknowledging your reality: What is this season for me right now? What do I actually have the capacity for? Do I have support, community, whether that’s assistants or other people within my business, or other people that can support me with my children, whatever that support looks like for you?”

[00:23:00] Tiffany:
“If I don’t have that support or any support, then I really have to be analytical about what I am capable of with where I am right now. Then, create the things that you know you can do well, and just be good with that.”

[00:23:30] Tiffany:
“When I used to do live streams every day—like, The Morning Shift actually started as a live stream series, and I did it every day for almost a year and a half, back in 2015—every day, every morning. But I did not have the capacity for that this time around.”

[00:24:00] Tiffany:
“So, I created something once a month. And just recently, I created a morning note on LinkedIn—that’s a daily newsletter that goes out Monday through Friday. I needed something to get myself back into the rhythm of producing every day, but also a light lift. I was not trying to write super long, prolific newsletters, but something that allowed me to just get into the flow and then get my juices going.”

[00:24:30] Tiffany:
“I’ve been really respectful of myself and my time and my season. And it hasn’t been easy. So, I say respectful and with grace, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel like, ‘Oh, but maybe you should do more.’ Or like, you know, that little beating-yourself-up thing that does occur when you feel like, ‘But you used to be able to do this. You used to do that.’”

[00:25:00] Tiffany:
“We can really ride ourselves about all the things we once did. What I have learned and what I now preach and teach, especially during my talks, is how much space we need to give to our current selves and really start being in that place of discovery and ‘what if?’ For now, and also looking into the future, because we’re reshaping who we are and we’re giving ourselves an opportunity to be an even better version. Whatever that version is—the version that is now and the version that can be—versus the version that we were.”

[00:25:23] Jess:
“I think that is spot-on for so many people, but I especially resonate with it in my postpartum and parenting journey—the pressure to get back to where I was. Whether that was how I spent my time, what my body looked like, what my relationships looked like—versus, how have I changed from this experience, and where do the chips fall now? Those were two completely different mindsets.”

[00:25:50] Jess:
“Once I started to move away from trying to shift back to who I was and instead started asking myself, ‘Oh, what is this new me? What does this look like?’—that was a game changer. And that is exactly what you help people do, which is exactly why your TED Talk and your LinkedIn note have so many people listening to you.”

[00:26:00] Jess:
“Because I feel like you are the perfect balance of helping people find that discipline again, while also creating the space to figure out what they need.”

[00:26:15] Jess:
“So, Tiffany, thank you so much. Remind people one more time where they can sign up for your LinkedIn.”

[00:26:25] Tiffany:
“Yeah. So, if you go to LinkedIn and you type in on that search bar, you can put in ‘Morning Note.’ I send those out Monday through Friday, so you’ll get them every morning, and that can be a part of your morning routine or morning ritual. Have a little morning drink and read the note.”

[00:26:36] Jess:
“I love it. Tiffany, thank you so much. You’re the best. I’m so glad that Clubhouse brought us together and now we find other mediums to bring us together.”

[00:26:45] Tiffany:
“Yes. I love it. And we get to talk about all the things—speaking, parenthood, motherhood, all this stuff. I love it.”

[00:26:52] Jess:
“It’s all there. It’s all there. Thanks, Tiffany.”

[00:26:55] Tiffany:
“Thank you.”